Dear SS8,

Just wanted to let you know that, in your adult life, people will not accept grocery lists of items that you feel they are required to acquire prior to your coming to their home every other weekend. Perhaps if you had some kind of allergy or were on a special diet, they just might. But lists comprised of chocolate milk, hot chocolate, marshmallows, corn dogs, hot dogs, 3 different kinds of snack cakes and a rider of 2 Mickey D's sausage biscuits and 3 hashbrowns for at least 1 breakfast will most likely be ignored.

Also wanted to let you know that if you wake up anyone else's 5 month old teething baby with your ridiculous stomping that you do all over the house for no reason, the parents arent likely to be as kind as I am when you wake up your brother. Also, most mothers will not be so kind when you tell them that their baby doesnt really love them that much, they love you more, because all I (the mother) buy my baby is stupid stuff (your definition of stupid stuff being food, clothing and baby toys). No big deal, but it's yet another rude thinkg you for some reason think is ok. And don't tell me what I'm doing wrong in parenting my child. He is my child, and you are 8. Also, with no one other than your guilt-ridden father will your doe-eyed claim that you want to buy such and such toy or such and such movie "for your baby bwuther," when you really want it for yourself, work. No one else is buying that manipulation.

And please start sleeping in your own bed. Alone. We know that you still sleep with your mother in her bed every night, but your father doesn't need to sleep by you on the couch every night that you are here. And I am an early riser, so I don't like being confined to my bedroom to drink coffee and watch the news in the mornings because you're sleeping in in my living room until 9 or 10. And one side note: I hate that I can't watch shows that really aren't so terrible for an 8 year old to see because you'll turn around to your psycho mother and act like we have you watching porn because they may say the word sex during the show or ax murderers because someone gets in a fight, or something like that. Especially when she watches every crime show on television, full of corpses, murders, and sexual assaults (great shows, but probably not great for kids) with you, to the extent that you know the names of every character. Gotta love the old double standard.

Furthermore, you don't need to go on an hour-long rant, scripted by your mother, because I "will never be your stepmom" and "we can't get married because I'm the wrong choice and your mom won't be happy." News: your mom has had 5 or 6 boyfriends in the last couple years, told you she was engaged to one, and had you saying you're going to have 2 daddies. Your dad and I have been together for 4 years. So tell your mom she can....

Ok done ranting. Just tired of our household and routine turning upside down during your visits, listening to the messages your mother sends through you, and having to act like the freaking Brady Bunch when you're around because your mom might call CPS or something. Thank God your mothers an idiot and has created a documentable trail of psychotic behavior for the last few years and your dad is going for full custody. I really think less alone time around your borderline personality disorder- qualifiable mom and more time around a normal, happily functioning family is the only hope to keep you out of the juvenile courts when you're a teenager.

Love,
Rogueranger