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Help with the art of Detatching/Detatchment please:)

roughroad's picture

Submitted by roughroad on Fri, 11/12/2010 - 9:43pm

I am new to this forum and it has been a wonderful help to read all your posts. I have read several of you brave people speak of "detatching". I have read books about it but still seem to have a hard time deciding when do I detatch??? As I mentioned in my post a few days ago, I married a widower and I have a SD 22 and SD 19. I am child-free (I saw that on this website and think its brilliant:) Any advice would be great as I am starting to get very resentful my husband lets the girls treat me poorly due to his "guilt" of their moms passing. I have been in their lives for 7 years (married 5).
Thank you again for listening:) I have also read stepmonster the book wonderful but how do you all stay happily married when its a constant struggle for respect? UGGGGGGGGGGG so tired Smile

Comments

Goodstepmom's picture

Submitted by Goodstepmom on Fri, 11/12/2010 - 9:49pm

First of welcome Smile and sorry for all this drama with your stepchildren.

Secondly I first would advice you to really talk to your Husband. Tell him exactly how you feel and how they make you feel. Explain him that if those would be your children it would be unacceptable behavior. And that at 22 and 19 they are grown enough to understand relationships and they need to respect you.
Hold nothing back make it glass clear to him.

If after all this he still doesn't get it, then its time to detach.

Also could you explain a little more what they are doing, so i could better understand the situation.