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Mothers Day

RunningInCircles's picture

Submitted by RunningInCircles on Wed, 05/04/2011 - 3:28pm

I have been a lurker for a few years now. This site has really gave me some great advice and made me feel like I wasn't alone.

Long story short we have my bios full time and my step sons every other week. So it's one week here, one week there, totally 50/50. Their mother is POS for a Mom. She's not abusive, just completely disinterested in her kids. Does nothing with them and never really has, now that they are teenagers it's even worse. Ditches them all the time and leaves them home for weekends by themselves instead of giving my DH the option of keeping them. I have tried to let go of the anger towards her and accept that we can only control what happens in our home. Sometimes it just gets to me. This weekend was one of those times. We were talking about Mother's Day plans. It was discussed that even though it is our week with the boys starting Friday, my DH would pick them up on Monday. Basically we are going out of town for MD weekend and since the boys are supposed to be with their BM on MD we would just pick them up later. Didn't think it would be an issue since we have had the boys the past 4 weekends in a row because of BM's "plans", in addition to having them 2 weeks out of the month. My husband says he's going to call BM and let her know what going on, a few minutes later he returns and says that we can bring the kids with. I was confused, didn’t understand. He says to me "She doesn’t want them on MD, she says it will mess up her schedule." Umm.....Are you effing kidding me? What Mom doesn't want to be with their kids on MD, a POS one, that's who! Now here's the crazy part... I'm happy to have them be with me that day. I am pissed at the way my husband handled it though. He just said, "Ok great we'd love for them to be with us anyways." I mean, is it crazy for me to want him to say "You are a POS Mom! Don't you think your kids will be hurt that you don’t want to be with them on MD!?" I feel like he allows her to be a crappy parent by never saying anything about it! Please tell me I'm not crazy?

Comments

Elizabeth's picture

Submitted by Elizabeth on Wed, 05/04/2011 - 3:38pm

You're not crazy, but I don't blame DH for not rising to the occasion. This happened to us as well. More than once, BM left SD with us instead of having her for Mother's Day. I don't get it! And SD and I do NOT get along, so I don't understand the reasoning. It was always just "more convenient" for BM not to bother. Even when she only lived 6 miles from us! You'll never understand women like this, so I don't even bother to try.

carriejay's picture

Submitted by carriejay on Wed, 05/04/2011 - 3:43pm

I would be in heaven if I had my stepkids on mother's day. And the second their bm figures out how to be a martyr about it, i will every single year I'm sure Smile

RunningInCircles's picture

Submitted by RunningInCircles on Wed, 05/04/2011 - 3:48pm

I am really happy to be with them. She doesn't deserve the title Mother anyways. Her loss is my gain, it just pisses me off.

dakotamom's picture

Submitted by dakotamom on Wed, 05/04/2011 - 3:58pm

last year DH had a special event planned with skids on the saturday before mothers day, tickets had already been bought (DH is terrible at looking at a calendar when planning). DH said he could drop them off after event got over - well that didnt work for her and said she'd be over to get them early sunday morning and to have them ready. they were up at 8 and ready, these kids usually sleep in until at least 11. BM finally came at 8:30 PM to get them then bitched at DH for taking up her day.....excuse me - you didnt want us to drop them off to you the night before and said YOU would be by to get them EARLY IN THE MORNING....am i missing somethign here?!?!
they were sad that she never came to get them, they had gotten a little flower from walmart for her and a card. i noticed when the skids left, the flower was on the table. i thought it was sad for them. i put the flower in water and they were touched the next week i hadnt killed it yet! but their appreciation didnt last too long because we were at each others throats by the hour after their arrival!! hahahah

txcajunmom's picture

Submitted by txcajunmom on Wed, 05/04/2011 - 4:35pm

ahh looks like i'm not the only one who has the skids every year for mothers day...they need to be with their mother on that day. what kind of mom would rather her children be with another woman on mother's day??!! i want to enjoy mothers day with my mom and my children not the bratty skids! but i guess it's just another day to her as is thanksgiving, christmas, easter, you know all the holidays that usually a parent would like to spend with their children.

RunningInCircles's picture

Submitted by RunningInCircles on Wed, 05/04/2011 - 4:43pm

Our BM only celebrates the holidays when she doesn't have the kids. Dressing up like a slut on Halloween, going to BBQs on the 4th of July, having Xmas with just her and her boyfriend, partying on NYE etc. But when it's her turn to have the kids on a holiday she usually says, "You guys do more "family" things, just go ahead and keep them". Your kids are 16 and 13 lady, come on! She doesn't ever want to be inconvenienced with having to do something WITH them. This was the 1st year she pulled this Mother's day crap. She's done it on Xmas, Thanksgiving, etc. But Mother's day is...... well Mother's Day! She is always sinking to new lows...

BSgoinon's picture

Submitted by BSgoinon on Wed, 05/04/2011 - 6:58pm

Is she serious? I have never heard of such a thing. What a POS. I can't believe that. You are not crazy. If this were me, my DH woudl have ripped BM a new one for even CONSIDERING not having SS on Mothers Day. Of course BM eats up any occassion to celebrate the fact that she pushed him out and I didn't, even though I have endured alllll of the mothers tasks since then!

Your SKids BM sucks as much as mine!