Step kids over every weekend no room for baby
Almost one year married to my husband who has two kids. I have primary custody of two older teens. I am currently six months pregnant. I came into the marriage with a five bedroom home. My husband's children stay with us every weekend because mom would rather hang out on dating sites than with her children. I have asked my husband to figure out where our baby is going to sleep. I suggested one of his kids give up their room since they only use it 2 nights a week. If that doesn't work I suggested he add on a room to the house. He got very angry and says he can not afford that. I gave him an ultimatum of the baby's first birthday to come up with a solution. I have no nursery, no crib, just a bassinet next to my bed for now. This is extremely frustrating.
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what are the ages/sexes of
what are the ages/sexes of all the kids?
Obviously with 5 rooms and soon to be 6 kids.. there will have to be some level of sharing going on. I am assuming there is no way to create a nursery from another space that would work until one of your older teens moved out after HS to college etc?
Depending on the age.. your bios may need to share with one of the Skids or the Skids may need to do some sharing.. or the baby will need to share a room.. maybe with skids since they are only over a few days a week?
Will be 18, 16, 15, and 13
Will be 18, 16, 15, and 13 when baby is born. Oldest is starting senior year in August. Cannot see anyone moving out anytime soon. Too old to share and cannot trust baby around his daughter. She has some psychopath tendencies.
Every one of those kids are
Every one of those kids are too old to be asked to share with a baby anyway.
The answer is to have one of the skids share with one of your "same sex" kids.. perhaps moving rooms around so that the kids who have to share get the largest option of room.
do you expect your 18 yo to live at home after graduation? If they will be off to college/military.. etc.. then the solution really only needs to be stop gap for that first year and perhaps adding a room isn't reasonable... in fact with two kids within a couple years of moving out, it would be a big expense. But expecting an infant to live in your space for longer than a yearish is also a lot.
Clearly, skids sharing with someone is a solution even if it means you take an existing "big" room.. split it with a wall and your two skids get their own tiny space to free up a room for your new child.
nanny cams
for the psycho.
Shared rooms for the rest. Kids love bunks. And the 18-year old will probably want to move out and be on their own soon.
Skids share a room, they are
Skids share a room, they are only there for 2 days.
Full-time kids get their own rooms.
Can they do that?
They are opposite sex.
Full time residents get first
Full time residents get first dibs on rooms. That's should be a logical to most people. The 18 yo should be on the way out.
But this really is a DH problem. You gave him the opportunity to be logical and he had a mantrum about it. Not a good look for a experienced dad and new baby on the way.
Is his name on the house? Don't play nice about this. He can always move out when he has the skids and do his time eleswhere. Can't afford that? Can he afford a divorce from you with a new baby? I hope you have seperated money. If not, get it seperated so yours will have what they need. Divide the bills and make him pay the percentage for the people he needs to pay for and that goes for half of the baby too. Hill to die if you ask me. Many men around here think they can get away with being cheap. Nope.
Please tell me ...
.. you made him sign a pre-nup AND his name isn't on the house AND you have separate money AND he pays the freight for his spawn. This is a disaster in the making.
Sorry, wrong placement. This is a reply to the OP.
Thumper---dont say a word
Thumper---dont say a word
What are his solutions or
What are his solutions or does he want to share a room with the baby forever?
The baby needs a room.
The baby needs a room.
Babies sleep a lot and they need a quiet space to do that in. Since his kids are only there on weekends, they can share, even if they are different genders. In a crowded house, it doesn't make any sense to have two rooms sitting mostly empty all the time. Either that or they share with one or both of your kids when they are in the home.
What does his CO say? If he is not required to have them every weekend, he may want to reduce their time when a new baby arrives.
I agree with this.
I agree with this.
If your husband wants a room per kid for his kids, he can find a way to have the money for it.
OP: does he pay anything for home expenses now? You had the house prior to marriage and could afford it, I can only assume he used to rent/own a 3 bedroom. Surely neither of you are paying the same for housing costs....why can't he afford a room addition?
Stand your ground
His kids should share a room if they are only there 2 days per week or he can pay to add a room - stand your ground on this. It is not unreasonable and only really points to him being cheap and taking advantage of you.
Make those teens too
Make those teens too comfortable and they willl NEVER leave/launch. Now the time get them ready for real life which means things change and you need to roll with it.
Talked to husband last night
He is telling his kids tomorrow that they will be sharing a room!!! And he's buying them bunk beds!!! I think he realized this is the right thing to do. Thank you for all the comments. You helped steer me in the right direction when I was stuck at a dead end.
So he has no money, is living in your home assumedly
contributing towards utilities/groceries i assume?
but again has no money to increase the size but expects each of his 2 kids get a bedroom and yours must share??your new baby should not have to wait till their 1st birthday to get a nursery/baby room!!
also you do not need permission to comandeer a room which one of his kids uses when they visit. Tell hubby that baby needs a room set up before its born and since skids are there 2 nights a week, it makes sense that skids share a room. If he isn’t happy then he needs to contribute towards a room.
he is having it real good living in your home and demanding space for his kids having individual rooms but yours should compensate for his kids
It's odd to me that an 18
It's odd to me that an 18-year-old still wants to visit Dad's house every weekend ...