OMG
Oh MY GOSH. I can't believe this just happened. We made dinner tonight. Saturday night is dad's night to grill. He can grill whatever he wants. Tonight he choose hamburgers. He put them on the grill , told SS "burgers going on the grill." Grilled them and then took them off, he went down and told SS that the burgers were ready. His son screamed that he was busy and had disturbed him. DS asked what the noise was, DH answered that he had disturbed SS. He continues to make a plate and lo and behold before I know it he has taken the plate that he just fixed down to his son. So now we are treating him just like his mother does. Brininging him food. All this so that he can continue talking to his friends and playing his games. Now that I have cooled off a bit maybe we can have a rational discussion about how this is not acceptable.
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I predict there will be
I predict there will be nothing rational about your conversation.
Oh my. He brought him a plate
Oh my. He brought him a plate of food. My DH would have shut down the games for a month. Not that he would have let him get this bad in the first place.
Yes, he's an enabler.
OMG part 2
Well supposely I told him he could do this and he wanted him to have a warm fresh burger. I questioned how was this supposed to hlep us become a better family. I also asked if he wanted me to keep trying to connect with his son or should I just forget it . I then mentioned maybe we should give his son money and he could buy his own food if he didn't want to be part of this family. I said I would like to continue trying but I needed him to work with me. He asked how and I said start by making him come up and get his own food, don't bring it down to him, that's enabling him. I also said back me up when I say good morning to SS and while he's right there call him out if he doesn't say hi or good morning in return. This needs to be effort on all our parts. Not just mine. DH then said SS counselor said that he would never join us. That would have been nice to know.
Yes the SS is seeing a counselor and I have to wonder about her saying this. I would think she would be working toward family harmony.
You forgot the part about
You forgot the part about disciplining his son for screaming at him. Come on.
This kid needs his video games taken away, like yesterday
yes I did
If he wants his son to treat him like that he's more than welcome. A little disrepect might be good for DH.
Clearly SS and DH are not
Clearly SS and DH are not making the necessary effort to bring SS into the family fold, so why should you? Disengage.
What possible reason would
What possible reason would the SS be able to tell counselor that he will never eat with you two? And better yet, why that is acceptable? If it were me, I would ask if we could ALL go to counseling together. How old is SS?
If my own BS19 or SS17 talked
If my own BS19 or SS17 talked to me like that, he'd have his screens taken away ASAP. Probably don't need to say that you have a DH problem. Judging by the way your talk went, he's not about to change. I'm sorry OP.