Skids bm has visitation every other weekend and half of the school holidays. We live 70 miles away from her, and dh does all the running around, taking them every other Friday evening and bringing them back every other Sunday afternoon, plus taking them and bringing them home for school holiday vistitations as well. She never contributes financially towards our fuel costs, and when they go for longer stays she's always asking that dh take food for them, as she claims she can't afford to feed them. We live in the UK and the price of fuel has gone through the roof, so it's a huge expense every month which we could do without.

Dh asked her this weekend if she would contribute towards the cost of fuel as it's so expensive, but she refused. She claims she can't afford it and simply whined about having to find the money to feed them when they're with her, as the last few times they've been we haven't provided any food due to the astronomical cost of fuel. She says if she has to pay something towards fuel costs, she can only have them one weekend a month. She is a lazy, useless waste of space who has no desire to work, and has managed to produce another kid with father unknown just so she can stay at home and scrounge benefits instead of getting off her fat ass and helping to provide for the 3 kids she aleady had.

Funnily enough she's managed to get herself a very expensive phone and has recently had new tattoos, but yet she's too poor to feed her children or pay something towards seeing them. She even told them that they would only be seeing her once a month from now on because she had no money to give their dad for fuel, which is a totally inappropriate thing to discuss with the younger kids who are aged 7 and 8.

Trouble is, the only way I can cope with being a sm is the fact that we get regular breaks and have some time to ourselves. The kids are demanding, clingy and attention seeking and dh and I get little peace on weekends they're around as they're constantly demanding attention and won't leave dh alone. Our couple time is precious and although I hate paying out money we don't really have to make bm's life easier, I'd rather do that than hardly ever get a break from the skids. They only went one weekend a month before and I told dh that I couldn't cope and they needed to go more often, and I really can't bear the thought of going back to once a month. Dh agrees that we need couple time, but at the same time doesn't seem keen on continuing the current eowe arrangement due to the expense.

I'm trying to push him to continue the current eowe arrangement with the agreement that bm doesn't get a food parcel. I'm the one that's working full time while dh stays at home, and I feel I'm entitled to have at least some time with my husband without demanding skids about. I hate how these lazy bms think it's okay to sit around all day doing nothing and then whine about how hard life is and how poor they are - they ought to get off their asses and try setting a good example to their kids instead of expecting everyone else to look after them!!