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Anyone ever "befriended" a difficult bm?

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I live in the UK and my dh has residency of his 3 kids from his previous marriage. The court granted residency 7 years ago when the kids were very young and they've lived with us since then, are healthy, happy and doing well at school. BM was granted regular contact which she's always had, but because she's a self-confessed alcoholic with mental health problems and a history of emotionally abusing the skids, the court said she wasn't fit to have them full time and gave custody to dh.

Worried about the future

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My dh is ill at the moment. He is crippled with arthritis and sciatica, can't walk or stand and is dependent on me to get his food/drinks as he cannot feed himself at the moment. He is diabetic and needs regular food and medication, and as his powerful pain relief makes him dopey I'm having to monitor him and make sure he's taking his medicine at the right times. He also had a heart scare at the weekend and got taken to hospital with chest pains and breathing problems which was really scary even though they couldn't find anything obvious.

Munchausen or hypochondria by proxy?

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Bm is an attention seeker. She puts crap all over Facebook about how ill/poor/sad she is so all her crappy friends can give her sympathy. More worryingly, she seems obsessed with her kids health and is always posting on Facebook that she's looking after a sick kid, hasn't slept due to sick kid and is taking them to the doctor or hospital. It often seems to happen during the night or at weekends so she has to call out of hours emergency medical services.

Any UK families out there who know anything about changes in residency?

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My husband was given custody of his 3 boys over 6 years ago, after a long, difficult court case. The court welfare reporter found that the bm was emotionally unstable and unfit to have full time custody of the kids. We have documented evidence that she emotionally abused the kids from court reports, reports from child mental health professionals and statements from school staff who expressed concern about the boys' behaviour, attainments and emotional state. BM has a history of mental illness and alcohol abuse.

Nature vs Nurture?

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I've often wondered whether the problem skids we deal with are the way they are wholly because of things like upbringing/parenting etc, or whether some of it could be genetic/hereditary and the problems they have could have happened anyway regardless of family or parenting issues etc.

Positive things about skids?

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Another poster put something up a couple of days ago trying to list positive things about their skid, and it made me think. So many of us are dealing with very stressful step situations with shitty skid behaviour and horrible bms and it's easy to lose sight of the good qualities in our skids. I should imagine there are many step parents who cannot say anything positive at all about their skids, specially when their shitty behaviour is allowed and enabled by the bio parents, but I wonder how many of us can see good in our skids even if they do irritate us quite a lot.

Kids and Irritating questions?

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My 3 ss's drive me crazy with constant irritating questions like "what's for dinner", "how long till dinner", "when is it snack time", "can I have my TV channels on". It starts as soon as they get home from school and seems to go on and on. Weekends are worse when they're here all day, and I'm glad when they go to bm's for their eowe so I can get some peace! I'm sure this is just a normal kid thing to some extent as I remember my daughter doing it when she was young, but she was nowhere near as bad as the skids, who seem to be completely obsessed with food and it drives me insane.

How to deal with an 8 year old "toddler"

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My ss8 is a nice kid. He's intelligent, artistic and does well in school but the way he clings to his dad like a 3 year old is driving me insane!! Yesterday we had to go to the hospital to pick up my dad after he had an operation. We had to take ss8 & ss9 with us as it was after school and we have no one to look after them. We had to sit with my dad on the hospital ward for a bit till the nurse sorted out the paperwork and medication he needed to take with him.

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