Seriously. He's a tool.

We're having dinner with his kid Friday night after picking her up at the bus station*. She started talking about getting a job (she's 17), her plans to move into an apt with 2 of her GF's after HS, go to community college and then get into a 4 year college, etc.

She started talking about wanting to move to a city far away from both DH and Uberskank. Something DH and I both encourage. Uberskank on the other hand is trying to convince her daughter to stay close. DH's kid said I don't want to be headed to out with friends, to work or to class and have my mother call me and say "I need you to help me with your siblings**."

DH said....that's easy, just tell your mom you're busy. His kid gets a look on her face and I piped in "DH, you're thinking as the exH and not putting yourself into your kids' shoes. This is her mother, not her ex-wife. You're asking her to either lie or blow off her mother, look at your kids' face. That isn't an option for her."

I turned to his kid and said "I think I understand what you're saying, you want to move on with your life but you're feeling like you're abandoning your younger siblings if you move away." DH's kid replied yes, that's how I feel. I said look, I'm in no way slamming on your mom. However, as an adult, she has made her life choices. Some of which have had a huge impact on you. One being the fact she chose to be a single mom. But you need to realize neither her choices nor your Dad's choices are your burden to carry. You're not abandoning anyone. You're simply moving on with your life. It's what you're supposed to do at 18.

Then DH breaks in with his "crazy eyed I hate Uberskank" look on his face and said "I'm going to just say what the two of you are pussyfooting around, not saying."

I looked at DH and said "NO you're not." and then I looked directly at his kid and back at him. "DH, I'm only going to say this once, keep whatever is in your head to YOURSELF."

He looked at me and looked at his kid and responded with "I'm going to say what I think because the two of you won't come out and say it." I give him a killing glare which he ignores.

He opens his dumb-ass mouth up and starting going off on how his kid's mother wouldn't be alone right now, raising three kids on her own, if she hadn't of chased away every man in her life.

I look over at DH's kid and she is looking both angry and near tears. I look at DH and asked "Are you done?" He said yes and changed the subject.

He got up to pay the bill and I looked at his kid and asked if she was okay. She had tears in her eyes and said I really wanted to say something to him. I said, you would have been well within your rights if you had. She said "I know what my mom is like, but I don't want HIM telling me, it's none of his business any longer. I know he has bad feelings for her, but I don't want to hear about it."

Later when DH and I were alone, I let him have it. All he did is keep insisting what he said was right. I said "DH, is being right about your assessment of Uberskank more important to you than having the respect of your child? Do you realize you hurt HER feelings? Do you realize she lost a ton of respect for you? How many times have I told you, that you cannot say bad things about her mother to her?"

He responded with "What I said was the TRUTH." Jerk.

"So I take it that you don't care about your kids' feelings or the fact you lost some of her respect tonight?"

He said he'd think about it. I said even if you don't apologize for what you said, you should apologize for hurting her feelings and talking bad about her mother. He's been a grumpy ass all weekend but he said apologized to her when he took her home this evening.

I cannot believe, after all the times he's said he would never stoop to Uberskank's level, he turned around and did it anyway. And you could just see by the look on his kids' face that she was completely disgusted by her father's actions. Geez.....I thought I was supposed to be the evil one badmouthing her mother. Nope....it was DH who managed to look like an ass. Did I mention I think he's a tool???

* - Uberskank refuses to uphold her part of the CO (no surprise). Instead of driving her kid to her father's house, she puts her on a bus that drops her off 45 minutes from where we live.
** - DH's kid has two younger siblings that are not DH's. They each have their own bio-dad.