SD13 will be spending spring break with her BM. She had her cell phone taken away because of a really bad report card (failing grades because she wasn't turning in her work, duh....turn it in and get good grades). When H called the BM last night to confirm whether she will be driving into the city (she currently lives 1.5 hours away for some dumb reason) or do we meet her at the half-way point, she asked that SD get her cell phone back for the week because she doesn't have a landline and will be at work some of the days.

Now I agree she should bring the phone for emergencies only. My H and my SD have phones on my plan and I generally pay for the whole damn thing. So I say to H, I think you need to decide what kind of punishment to enforce if she makes any calls to her buddies or sends any texts. He said he'd have to think about it. So today while I'm paying the bill.....again....out of my personal account....I noticed they have Usage Controls. So I emailed H at work and said...how about instead of setting her up for failure, we pay the stupid $4.99 for usage controls, give her 30-60 minutes for emergencies and only allow texts to your "trusted number". A perfect solution so he doesn't have to enforce any punishments on her, because we both know a 13 y/o girl is going to try and get away with something.

H emailed me back and said he'd have to think about it? WTF??? Think about what? So I write back and ask if he's just going to give it to her with no restrictions? Because he told her when it was taken away that she wasn't getting it back until after the next report card and if she pulled her grades out of the toilet. Never answered me.

This happens all the time and he totally sucks at follow through. The minute she starts behaving herself again, he gives her everything back. Every damn time, within about a week, she starts in again with the bad behavior and attitude and he gets stressed and pissy. And then we start arguing over her bad behavior. Grrrrrrrrrrr. Why does he keep doing this to himself? And to me for that matter.

So I have to wait until I get home tonight to find out his plan. If he just gives it back to her I'm simply going to tell him don't come crying to me when she starts crapping on you again. That for the millionth time because she knows she can get her way, he's going to fold and give her what she wants. And he wonders why she always cops an attitude with him.

Am I wrong for even suggesting usage controls so she doesn't get into any more trouble OR being ticked that he would give it back to her without any conditions so she can have fun during spring break? Does H not understand the meaning of punishment???