Is it just me or is anyone else seeing the pattern of horrible communication in blended family situations??

It seems a lot of our problems seem to start with poor communication between the couple.

Either we're not clearly communicating our needs.
Or we're not clearly communicating our boundaries.
Or our partners aren't open to what we're saying.
Or we're ignoring what they are saying.

Does anyone else see how the pattern is starting with the main two principals, and then becomes a full blown crazy quilt?

In my case, even though I was communicating with H, he wasn't listening. I got tired of fighting it all the time, so I gave up and became complacent and things steamrolled from there.

I wonder what would have happened if I put my little foot down from the start?

Shaman29's blog
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Fire...that is exactly what

Fire...that is exactly what I'm talking about.

Communication is a two way street. Both parties must be willing to listen and respect their partners' words, feelings, needs.

You have to set a precedent! That's what I did, I made it clear from day one that the SM role is very very hard for me. I agree we still have communication problems when the SKIDS are here EOWE (weird how we never argue about anything but them) but there is at least a precedent.

BAHAHAHA a women after my own

BAHAHAHA
a women after my own heart! Me and my DH had it out last time the SKIDS were here. He was mad that I wasn't talking (kind of giving him the silent treatment) but later I told him look I don't wanna say I don't like your son. So I was practicing the "if I can't say anything nice rule." I'm actually trying to practice this rule more often because I've said some nasty thing in the past, not to the SKIDS but to my DH.
The fight stemmed from my SS telling me that "he wished his family was in order" now mind you he is only 6yr.'s old but he's the ultimate baby. Can barely wipe his ass, still carries a blankie, etc. Guess what? I wish my family was in order too, this is my first marriage and I wish it was also my husbands. And if my family was in order little man then you wouldn't exist so good thing for you we don't get our wishes. Also on a side note my DH left my SKIDS BM when my my SS was 10 months old. So my SS has never even seen his parents together yet he often mentions them together. On his 5th birthday that was his wish that he said after he blew out his candles to the cake that I bought! Now Ive started to kind of make things clear like daddy wouldn't be happy if he was in that situation. That's probably not the right thing to say either but damn im tired of him living in this fantasy world. His parents have been split up since before he was 1 year old, get the picture!

Lol, love this: Crazy

Lol, love this: Crazy Quilt.

I made sure my communication with DH was ON POINT before even getting married. I think one skill a lot of people weren't taught as children is communication. How to be a good listener and how to get your point across, and even more, how to stand up for yourself.