So DH gets a phone call from BM this morning as he's on his way to work...

This is VERY odd and never happens (in the 5 years we've been together), so thinking something is wrong, he answered the phone, and it's SD6. She is asking DH if he could get her from school today and she stay with him tonight.

DH of course is guarded and asks what's going on...He gets silence for a couple of seconds and can hear BM in the background...She says she wants to spend the night with him...(She's obviously being coached)

Of course DH's radar goes off as this has NEVER happened since he and I have been together...On the contrary, the OPPOSITE was the norm until DH took her to court.

So DH told her that he couldn't pick her up until Friday...He wasn't allowed to. BM has already gotten SD involved in the whole court thing years ago, when she told SD that DH raped her and was dangerous and that the judge was trying to take her from her mom...So she's aware of that dynamic, and so DH has to always bring that up to explain why he can't just randomly do things...

So...He merely tells SD that he's not allowed to pick her up unless it's either his day or it's an emergency. DH says he hears BM in the background saying, "He's a liar...He's a liar..."

DH tell her that he'll see her on Friday, and they pretty much end the call.

He calls me as he feels bad to not let SD come over, but he's afraid...BM had called the police on him for so many random things and for no reason, that DH sticks CLOSELY to the CO...So much so, he had to go to court twice to get it clarified (as COs can be so general)...She even asked him switch weekends with her, and when DH picked SD up from school and takes her home, who shows up at our door? The police...BM swore up and down that she didn't give DH permission to take SD...(I told him to get their agreement in writing and notarized...but he had those rose colored glasses on...)...

I told him that unfortunately, it is what it is when you're in a position of parallel parenting, and you're dealing with somebody that is bitter and vindictive...ALSO, he's got more at stake than making SD happy...He's got me and DS to think about, and I'm not going to sit by and allow him to put himself in harms way for that...IT'S NOT GOING TO HAPPEN...

There is no compromising...BM started this whole thing off antagonistically, so DH has had to guard himself...Now that she needs or wants to do stuff. I told DH that she probably had to do something or wanted to do something and couldn't find a sitter...OH WELL...That's what acting insane gets you, unfortunately...Either you have to pay for a sitter or not go where you want to or need to go...tough freaking cookies...