Finally, I actually have the time and want to sit down and write a blog about the retreat. I am at work on a Saturday morning, so I have nothing BUT time! hehe First I want to thank stepwitch for hosting the retreat and being such a wonderful hostess. Next, I would like to thank Dawn and Admin for creating such a place to vent and get to know others in our situations. It has been a blessing to me in many ways.

I arrived late Friday night because I had to work Friday and didn't get to leave for Memphis until 5. I felt a bit like I was wandering into a scene from deliverance....hehehe ;). Seriously, I guess it wasn't that bad. I just was out of my element, totally. I was on the phone w/SW trying to find this place and she kept telling me to cross a bridge. Ok, well, when I think of bridge, I think of a steel bridge with sides and all. Nope, she was referring to a concrete bridge that you could not see in the dark of night with nothing more than your headlights. Forget seeing the balloons! I passed it several times. SW was obviously a little tipsy and I felt like I was driving in circles.... So, she and Zen eventually came to meet me on the side of the road to lead me back in the place. SW passed it up.... hahahaha... she passed up her own cabin place. That was funny.
Eventually, we make it, and I was introduced to CG, Sunshine, & Matty. CG was definitely the personality of the group :). Sunshine was very quiet and reserved. Matty was a little more than tipsy I think I think they ALL had too much to drink. After meeting everyone, SW took me into the cabin and gave us all gift bags she had made for us with cute ya-ya hats, etc. It was nice. We then went out to drink around the fire. I didn't drink much, I was soooo sleepy. We all turned in kinda early. CG stayed up to watch a movie...I don't even remember what it was I was so sleepy.

The next morning was fantastic. SW cooked us a wonderful meal and we all enjoyed it so much! We all then went out to the fire for a while and then I decided I wanted to "go to town" for more beer or something other than hard liquor to drink. HA. That proved to be a funny experience. I am goofy in the way that I like to take pics of goofy crap. So, they all played along like good sports. My fav was "Pee Wee's Super Tight Barber Shop". It sat next to the nastiest little convenient store where I was forced to buy my coolers. It smelled so bad in there I HAD to get out. I am still not sure if it was the clerk, or something rotting in there, but we all had a good laugh about it. Then I made SW stop in a cottonfield to see cotton. I had never seen cotton actually growing in a field before, so it was amazing to me. Then it was back to the cabin for weiners and beer. That conversation turned to the gutter real quick...hehehe.

Then Dawn and Admin eventually showed up and we ate another wonderful dinner prepared by SW. (Did I mention she is a fabulous cook?) After dinner, it was time to make our BM heads to put into the fire. My was hidious, as is BM. Everyone elses were just as bad. But, the experience was liberating. We each went around and tossed our "head" in the fire and told why we were tossing her in the fire, etc. All I could muster at the time was "for making my stepdaughters cry". However, it was MUCH more than that for me.
For me, it was about her abandonment of her daughters and her abandonment of her responsibilities as a parent. It was about her treatment of them when they lived with her. It was about her keeping the girls from DH. It was about her trying to steal precious moments away from me after my 1st son was born. It was about her mental illness. It was about her PAS of the girls and in turn, their attitudes towards me and their dad. It was about all the crap she's ever done/not done for the girls. About all the times she never sent Christmas/birthday cards to them or "forgot" to call on important days. For her ruining their baptism day by leaving during the ceremony. For her turning SD19 against her dad so much that he isn't allowed to see his granddaughter. I let it all go in that instant. I wish I would have shared more of that in that sacred place. For some reason, I just couldn't. I knew they would have supported me, but I felt stiffled. It was great to hear everyone else's reasons as well.

The next morning was another great meal by SW. I think we were all feeling our liqour that morning, especially Matty and Sunshine :). Overall, it was a fabulous experience and I would love the opportunity to attend another or to host one.

Stepwitch: You really should change your name, it doesn't suit you. How about Glenda the good witch? I think you are an amazing woman and you have put up with quite a lot and I applaud you for that! It was so giving and loving of you to invite to your cabin and open your arms to all of us! Love ya!

Zen: Zen, my kindred spirit. I wish we had taken more time to talk more! I am so grateful for getting the opportunity to meet you and experience the world according to ZEN. You are so calm and patient. I hope someday SD is able to see how lucky she is to have you in her life to care about her more than her BM does! Love ya gurl!

Matty: We saw an awful lot of your tongue this weekend! hehehe By far, you are the most loving person I have ever met. You must have been given your halo early in life to put up with what you have! Do what makes YOU happy, and screw the rest! Hopefully the babies will get to benefit from having you in their lives soon! Hugs and love to you!

CG: WOW. You are for sure the life of any party! And, you hold your liquor well in a lower altitude! I am so grateful for getting the opportunity to meet you. I love the way you love your SD's. You are so amazing to be so young. Remember when life gets you down, you are "Super Tight!"

Sunshine: you so remind me of a sweet southern belle. So quiet yet with so much to say! I also love the way you took on someone else's kids as if they were your own! Shows real character! What a sweetie you are. So great to know you! Hugs and love girl!

Dawn and Admin: How cool are you two???? Dawn plays guitar, raises a teenager and keeps this wonderful site going! Kudos to you! Admin: I think it is absolutely wonderful how much you obviously love your wife and support her. You are a brave soul to come into a group of drunk women to support your wife. You saw she needed support, so you helped her design a site to get the support she needed. That's super tight in my book! By the way, pink is NOT your color!

Bella and Serendipity: I am so sorry you guys couldn't make it, as I am sure we would have all benefited from your wisdom and experience! HUGS! Maybe next time???