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Little Liars!

SilentlyCoping's picture

Okay, the weekend is almost over so it's time for me to vent again. I am sorry to sound like a bitchy, crotchety old lady but I have had it. These kids, meaning my step kids, are nothing but freaking little liars and DH just doesn't get it!!!

So, the middle step daughter, as some of you may remember,  just got back from a trip with her mom. She had gone to this convention thing for which she begged and begged her dad for this costume so she could wear it while she was there. Turns out that she didn't wear it. She had told DH that she didn't wear it because it was too hot. So this weekend while she was lingering about the kitchen, doing her pacing thing, I asked her how her trip was. She said it was good and she volunteered that she forgot her costume at home so she did not wear it.  Of course I knew what really happened, or at least what she told her father, so which one was it? I cannot believe a girl that was so hell-bent on getting this costume would have forgotten it. What I think happened was that she felt insecure and so therefore she didn't wear it. Mind you again, her dad spent over $150 on this costume that was tailor-made and that she just had to have. I can almost guarantee you it will never see the light of day and we will certainly never see it on her body. First lie of the weekend.

Second lie, to explain this one I need to give you a little background. The last time the skids were here DH was doing their laundry for them. That's a whole other issue since they are 12, almost 13, 14 going on 15 and 17 going on 18. Anyway, the last load to get done was the 12 year old boys' clothes. By the tume ther were dry, the kids had left. I was not going to fold those clothes so I simply went in and layed them on his bed. My thought would be he would see them laying there and fold them.   Apparently my expectation was way too high.  As they were leaving this afternoon DH opened his door to check to see that his room was clean and found the clothes all over the floor. Apparently DH forgot that he had done the laundry so he asked whether the clothes were clean or dirty. That little shit said they were all dirty. I had to say something so I said, "wait, the clothes on your bed? No, those were clean. I put them there so you could fold them and put them away". The kid turn totally red and DH told him to go back in his room and at least put them on his bed.

I am so sick of these freaking lazy, lying snots!!!  Maybe it was wrong of me,  but as they left I said absolutely nothing to them. I just have nothing more to say to these kids, they disrespect their father, they only come out of the room when they need something, and they lie straight to his face and he, I hate to say it, is sometimes stupid enough not to even catch on. Or maybe it's me and that my expectations as a parent were much higher with my own children. Maybe that's what I have to let go of. I'm not saying my kids were perfect, they weren't by any means. And we had our struggles trust me. But I called my kids out when they did something wrong, and I stuck to my punishments.  And I didn't let him get away with bullshit!  Yes, I'm sure they lied to me and got some things past me, but some of the stuff that goes on around here I feel is so obvious that if someone doesn't see it they're choosing not to.

In any case, I spent most of yesterday away from the house and it was glorious! The next time they are here I will be doing the same thing, and as suggested on my last post, I will find a way to take my dogs with me so they are not stuck in their crates all day because nobody wants to deal with them.

Comments

Disillusioned's picture

Try to distance yourself from them

If they lie or are lazy, as long as it isn't directly personally affecting you, maybe just ignore it...not your kids, not your problem

It's hard to do that, especially when your DH just lets them get away with it all like they're just so wonderful. But I've found with my own SD's and now with the sgkids that a reminder to myself that these are not my kids/grandkids and they're behaviour is 100% the responsibility of their parent (unless again if it's directly affecting me, my home, my family, etc..or cause your skids any immediate harm or danger of course) otherwise, go live your life and don't waste another moment being angry about it 

Oh and the other bonus with that attitude, is when you step out of it it forces your DH to own up to things/deal with them himself. 

And the skids will have nothing to be resentful towards you for either since you're not diciplining, tatalling, or getting involved in any of it

This has worked wonders for me, and there is so much stress this way too! 

 

I love dogs's picture

Can SD wear the costume for Halloween since it's so hot? $150+ is A LOT for a darn outfit. Sounds like something SD13 would do.

Tonight at dinner, we went for happy hour sushi and I made "poor man's lemonade" as I learned from my mom. SD and I got water and DH got iced tea. We all got lemons but they don't use them so I used the 3 lemons and a sweet 'n low packet to make lemonade.

SD had never seen it before so I said "yep, it's just water and sugar". Of course, she had to correct me and said "just water and sugar? What about lemon?". I said "well, it wouldn't be lemonade without lemons". She then had to add "well, YOU said just water and sugar". She was already getting on my nerves today because she refuses to do ANYTHING for herself so I said "ok, smart ass" and she shut right up.

I know, I should've kept it to myself but DH knew she was being annoying, too, and didn't say anything. Tonight, I was kind enough to paint her nails for her first day of school tomorrow and she messed one of them up touching everything when she knows not to. Then she tells me she can't fix it herself because she "doesn't know how".

I get that BM has never taught her anything but I've done a lot to help her be a young lady and she still plays dumb and helpless. I'm over it and swear my daughter will NEVER be like that. Sorry, I needed a vent, too.

SilentlyCoping's picture

No apologies needed.....vent anytime. Smile Your nail story remind me of a time a little over 2 years ago....I was trying to be nice when the skids were visiting us in my home state for Christmas vacation.   I took the girls to the nail salon and treated them to a pedicure. They had never done that before.  Afterwards, all the middle child could do (ths is the one that got the costume) is complain about how rough the lady was and how her toes hurt so bad. It couldn't be the fact that her toenails were down to nubs to begin with? No, it is always somebody else's fault.  I watched the lady and she was very gentle with her.  Needless to say, I have never taken them back and I never will.

I love dogs's picture

That's exactly why I didn't take her to the nail salon yesterday. I had gel polish but wanted to try the dip method so I went after church and when hubby went to work. He asked if I wanted to take SD and I flat out said "no, we have plenty of polish at the house". 

She can also paint her own left thumb! After she was literally on the verge of tears about being told she can fix it herself, I instructed her how to paint ONE nail and she did it!...  Lazily and got polish all over her finger but I don't care. She wants to be a slob and act like she can barely do it? That's on her. She doesn't use her art supplies that way so why be such a brat about one nail? DH agreed with me and told her to do it herself.

Thankfully, he's tired of the "I'm 13 but mentally 5" mentality, too. I've never heard "I can't.. I triiiied" more in my life! My only goal as a parent now will be to raise my daughter to NOT be like SD.