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Apparently I am rude

SisterNeko's picture

because I told SS8 that his pants were too small and to never wear them to our house again. It's like the 3rd time BM has put him in these pants and sent him with us and each time DH tells her that they are too small.

Here is what happened. We picked sKids up Thursday for the 4th or July parade like we do every year. DH and I played with the idea of bring a change of cloths but didn't ( i wish he had). We picked them up and BM had both kids dresses horribly, notably both were in PANTS in 80 degree heat. I asked SS8 if he was hot and he of course defends BM but you could tell that he was hot. Then I told him that his pants were too small, they were short and super tight on his thighs. He said they were fine. Now we have a history with these same pants. She has sent him over in them at least 3 times and we keep sending them back and telling her they are too small. One time SS8 had a birthday party to go to so we put a pair of our pants on him and told BM that they were ours and why we didn't send him to the party (which BM picked him up from) in her pants. Yet she still has them and keep putting them on him. Well I have enough so Thursday I flat out told SS8 NOT to wear those pants to our house ever again. And I said it to him in private.

Well at dinner SS8 asked me if the shorts he had on were the ones I told him not to wear and I told him no those were pants. He informed me - which I am assuming BM said - that it was rude of me to say. I apologized to him for being rude, but explained that I don't like taking him out dressed like that. It reflects on me and I don't dress him like that. We added that it's better if he wears clothes that fit because his 'guy parts' need to breathe.

Seriously BM, I am rude? I guess next time I won't 2nd guess taking a change of clothes.

Comments

twoviewpoints's picture

Meh, maybe a tad out of line being said to the child. It rather puts the SS in the middle and not really much he can do about it.It's what BM has for him to wear. Not his fault his BM is too cheap that she makes him wear the things regardless of the fit. It's probably an added bonus in her mind that she knows you absolutely hate the ill-fitting clothing.

Yes, next time picking him up to go right and do something, bring a change of clothing. Don't make an issue out of it, just swing by a restroom somewhere and let him change. He'll be cooler, more comfortable, whatever, blah blah.

Ok, now about thosee skin tight pants...take a seam ripper and make some snips along the thread in the seam. The d*mn things will bust out real soon. Oops. SS I guess you finally outgrew those pants.

SisterNeko's picture

Yeah I know that was out of line to say to him but... he is old enough to say something if it doesn't feel comfortable or he doesn't like it. At our house he actually dresses himself for the most part. I help with color matching but he picks it out and puts it on himself.

I Like the seam ripper idea, there are a few items that I could see using it on. After we were done I actually took him to DH's work and let him climb a huge rock pile which he slid down a few times on his butt. I was hoping he would wreck them some how.

You do have to watch SS, he is very possessive, borderline hoarder. Last time he was here he had a sweater on and I commented that it was getting a little small and he started to pout, saying it was his favorite (he has a lot of those). I told him that I would buy him a new favorite one.

overwhelmed_4's picture

We frequently have this problem with skids BM too. Its embarrassing to me to pick them up from daycare in mismatched, ill fitting clothes. I don't want their teachers thinking I didnt take the time or effort to dress the kids properly! Once we showed up to soccer practice and found ss6 in a pair of tight highwaters. Dh just made a joke in front of BM about being ready for a flood and she responded with "he's a kid and doesn't know anything is wrong with his clothes unless you tell him. I don't want him concerned with his appearance like it's a top priority ". Dh was the coach and was a little embarrassed that his kid was showing up that way. I buy the kids clothes here and have stopped sending our outfits home with them. BM just keeps the cute stuff and sends them back in rags. I started making sure I had washed the clothes they came in and sending them back in those. She thinks I'm vein, but I don't care. Lol. We bring extra clothes with us just in case and change them after we get them or before they go back to her. I agree with helping those pants disappear too and might just try that tactic myself Smile

SisterNeko's picture

It is embarrassing! I always wash the cloths she sends over and we send them back in them. Once and awhile I will send something of ours knowing I won't see it again. I have even slipped in a few times when talking to BM stuff like, OMG he is growing so fast we have him in size 8 or I got him this shirt size m that almost doesn't fit. She just says 'i know'.

I got a number of a lady that knows DH and runs a local clothes drive charity thing. They take collections and give clothes away to the needs. She said that I could call her and go through their stuff. I think I am going to and see what I can find, then send like half of it over to BM's. I will just say that some one gave it to me, she doesn't need to know that it's charity.

oneoffour's picture

It isn't 'Charity'. It is repurposing and very eco-friendly in a 'save the planet' kinda way.

I wouldn't have said anything to an 8 yr old who will defend his mother and her reputation until he is old enough to know better. In future ALWAYS have a change of clothes with you. Then you can say "Quick, pop this on. It is much hotter/colder than you think out there!"

My GDs dad bought her a gold shiny puffer jacket for last winter. She looked like a tramp. But then he let her wear a short skirt and a T Shirt ... in December! The school called my DD who lives 8 houses from the school. She popped up with a change of clothes. GDs dad blew up at DD. DD just told him that the school called and said what she had on was not suitable for the weather outside. So if he has a problem to take it up with the school.

chokinonlemons2u's picture

The RiceSlingers new thing is sending SD9 in jumpers that size SIX !!!! Yes, THREE sizes too small. As soon as she comes in we have her take her crotch cutters off and put on clothes that fit

SisterNeko's picture

Oh this is a good addition, last night at dinner when we were talking about clothes that fit and why he shouldn't wear tight cloths SS8 chimed in that one time he had on underwear that were so tight his 'guy parts' hurt. DH and I am snapped to attention because that is serious. I told him that he needed to tell me if his underwear didn't fit right and I would buy him some new ones. He shook his head and said it was at BM's house. Then I noticed at shower time he had brand new underwear so she must have realized at least THAT issue.

We are also taking the boys school clothes shopping with us this year so they can get things that they like and that fit. Usually I just run and get the things that I like Smile

bearcub25's picture

I would always hit up goodwill or clearance sales and keep clothes that I could send back on the skids that fit and throw the too small, nasty looking ones away.

Didn't cost much and made me feel better until the next EOW.