So I just agreed to baby sit for BM after school on her weeks. But I reserve the right to change my mind if she gives me any problems (i told BF to tell her that). I am still on the bubble about it though.

For those of you that don't follow my blog here is my current situation. I got laid off in July, but we told BM that I was working from home - which I am freelancing, but it's something that takes time to really take off. We no longer use HER sitter since I am home now, I watch them on our weeks. BF and I are also talking a lot lately about our future. I REALLY want a baby (and to be a stay at home mom) and he wants to get engaged/married. I think he is saving up for a ring. I know I complain a lot on here but like I told BF, BM seems to be the biggest/only problem with our relationship. The problem being that she shouldn't be in our relationship! But she has been doing better, since BF told her to stay out of it. She doesn't talk to me - which will change when I start baby sitting. But I can't imagine life with out BF (and the boys) and our families are already planning for a wedding and babies (scary huh?).

I have thought about the pros and cons to doing this. The reason behind BM wanting me to baby sit is first of all the stupidest thing I have heard. She is freaking out because BF set the boys up to ride the bus to and from school on our weeks (and be dropped off by our house). Well she wanted them to go someplace else on her weeks and is afraid that the school/bus service will get confused and drop them off at her place on our weeks and no one will be there to pick them up. Which could happen but I am sure they aren't the only kids in school with joint custody parents. The Bus service didn't have an issues with it when BF went there to set up our weeks. But whatever, telling BM not to stress is pointless.

But she did agree to pay me - which with me not working would be nice. At least enough to cover the extra food/pull-ups. Plus it would give BF a chance to see them more depending on when she picks them up and when he gets off work. And I could still work from home.

I realize that I am not 'mom', which BF tends to push me toward, but I can just be the babysitter - can't I? I care about the boys but I don't want in on the parenting stress or the stressing parent (BM). I have pushed BF to be more of a parent and check up on things BM says and does regarding the kids. I just hate that she lies to him - I am a little protective of my man.

And I would have all the power, if BM gets inappropriate I plan to give her one warning after that I am done and she can find a new sitter. No one says I HAVE to baby sit for her. I would like to have a 'nice' relationship with her, I just don't want to be her friend and legally I can't talk about BF to her. (their Divorce has an RO banning, 'interfering in personal liberties' - which to me would mean his personal life)

So have I completely lost my mind?