At what age do SOME skids realize BM is full of crap?
Key word is SOME! Lol. The other day FIL went off on DH about telling BM to stop lying to skids. DH explained that its like asking her not to breathe, she denies lying but nothing she says makes sense.
The irony of it all is FIL thinks that one day ss8 will wake up and see BM for who she is but he can't see similar behavior is his own mother and to this day he still tries to please she. She is a bully and mean to him all the time. DH and I don't talk to gma because she doesn't like me and is angry the DH and I don't cater to her of let her bully us.
I don't think ss8 will ever wake up to her ways but ss5 might. He already has no problem telling her no.
The topic the brought it up was ss8 had a birthday a few weeks ago and BM either said, implied or suggested that he was getting a 3DS for his birthday and the first words out of his mouth when we dropped him off sunday was "did my DS come yet" and BM said no. He has been taking about this DS for at least a month and a week before his bday BM called DH to try to talk him into going in on a gift with her but we already got him something ( not that we would have anyway). She clams that she ordered it but I doubt it would take a month to get here. We don't think there is a DS coming. she can't afford one. She is probably hoping that he forgets about it or her mom or dad get him one but he bday was almost 20 days ago.
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i think there is a wide
i think there is a wide variance on age here. I'm not sure when my ss15 realized his bm was full of crap as he rarely has admitted it and it seems to be based on how delusional he is feeling at that particular moment or if he's recently spoken to her or something like that.
Just thinking of the wide variance-my dh is 40. He just realized about a year ago that his parents are totally full of shit. Seriously. I think he has seen red flags for many years, but he ignored them and is just now comprehending their total crap filled nature.
SD17 really figured it out by
SD17 really figured it out by 11 but didn't get her voice until 13 or 14. Then came to live with us full time - yay me.
Children have to be tought
Children have to be tought just like adults to believe people by not only what they say but what they do also. Because a person can say anything. But that doesn't mean their going to back up what they say. Hence the old saying "You can't just talk the talk, you have to walk the walk." Meaning you action have to match your words.
This is a problem we have with BM. She likes to make promises that she can't keep. SS is 8 and has learened that she doesn't keep her word. SS has been very vocal about his mom lying to him. I have even come back and told him that may be when BM promised you that she thought she could make it come true and things just didn't work out. That really doesn't make it a lie. But then I realized I was covering for her and I quite.
I do agree at some point and time they see through them. But for us that is probably fixing to change because BM is starting her sv next week. SS very badly wants to believe in BM. So he just has to learen on his own time.
In our case, 17. She's not
In our case, 17. She's not even making her usual excuses for her and rolls her eyes when repeating the lines Uberskank feeds to her.
Ss29 when he was 17, SD28
Ss29 when he was 17, SD28 around 16.5 SS27 never his mommy is soooooo perfect.
It is actually awkward when the older two mention what a train wreck BM is. I smile and try to change the subject. I am dying to join in but never have talked about and likely won't.
Scarey/ sad is that BM has 3 more boys ages 17,18&19. All dropped out of school at various ages, don't work, smoke pot and cigarettes all day and have live in gfs. Shw gives them $ and a pack of smokes every day and tells them they better not get any "hoes" knocked up. All of my skids have told me this information at various times. She's such a fabulous mom *eye roll*
SS13 is starting to see the
SS13 is starting to see the light, but lives with BM and has to drink the Kool Aid served. He is one of those very smart questioning kids. He has been bringing up issues lately that never happened but BM swears up and down it did (PAS). DH brings up all the time that TryingMom walks the walk and doesn't just talk the talk. I care and am a doer, I don't talk about it, I do it. Skids needed new sneakers, BM talked about it for over 6 weeks, shoes were falling apart, I just took them out and bought them new ones. BM's response....well, I was going to do that. WHEN??
edited to add:
As a BM, my son had my exH number early on. He was 11 when exH and I separated and my son looked at me one night when it was quiet in our house...."listen to that quiet....I think Dad only cares about Dad, not about us" broke my heart but I didn't say a word. He knew.
Stepdevil14 thinks her mother
Stepdevil14 thinks her mother hung the moon and she revolves around it so not sure when or IF she'll ever catch on!
SD quit talking to my DH when
SD quit talking to my DH when she was 16, three months after having a baby. She finally came around again for Easter this year. She is 19, almost 20 now.
Some take longer than others to realize the BS that is being washed into their brains.
Depends on the kid. I have 3
Depends on the kid.
I have 3 skids, SS19, SS13, SD12. SD is the only one that didn't drink the kool aid. The boys think she is the shit.
SS14 is just starting to
SS14 is just starting to realize BM lies all the damn time, but he doesn't want to admit it. SS8 will probably never realize it. He's just as bad as her already.
SD just figured it out at 17
SD just figured it out at 17 years old. She even made the comment recently that BM is a "dick hater" and ruins every relationship she is in.
I told SO to never speak badly of BM, regardless of the crap she pulled and hopefully one day his daughter would figure it out on her own. SO used to be so upset because he thought he lost his daughter forever. Now that SD is older and more mature, she is starting to see her mother for what she really is - a dick hater!!
SD STB19 & I'm still waiting.
SD STB19 & I'm still waiting. She still believes BM will send the grad gift she promised (SD graduated LAST June).
Is it bad the the evil part
Is it bad the the evil part of me wants to keep reminding him so he keeps asking her? In hopes that he eventually get one of she finally tells him it not coming?
DH and I flat out told him that we were spending that much on him for his bday. If BM doesn't get him one we are thinking about it MAYBE for Xmas.