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WHAT TO DO WHEN SD GOES HOME AND TELLS STORIES

slymom's picture

My sd is 5 and every since she was a baby her bm has encouraged her to say whatever she can come up with to get us in trouble. It went so bad that when she was 3 she accused my son who was 6 of rape. Of course through the police and dcfs it was unfounded and then the sd said same thing on her stepfather. The bm and grandmother encourage this girl to tell any story they come up with to dcfs and police to get whoever they want in trouble. We went from joint placement to joint custody with bm having primary placement. However we still have sd mons, wed, and every other wkend. It has been pure hell lately because sd is so mean when you tell her no. I am tired of fighting with her and her bm. The bm gives her stability they move every six months and just continually change her schools she has had two years of preschool at two different schools and now want to change schools again for kindergarden. I give up and just dont know how to handle this. I love sd like my own but it hard when i have to feel i have to protect my own kids from her. I know what it is like to dread the days that she comes and just wish i could change it.

Comments

oneoffour's picture

What helps is ..."I said no. And if you tell your mother something untrue when you grow up no one will believe anything you say. And I know JUST what you are thinking!"

Read her to story of The Boy Who Cried Wolf. Remind her that telling lies or making up stories so people feel sorry for you makes it difficult to make new friends.

And if the worst happens AGAIN, tell your DH that he should go along with supervised visitation away from your home. She will want to be part of your home but she cannot be allowed to enter when she has such a vivid imagination that only goes to get the kids into trouble.

somerg's picture

i agree with 1of4, just keep saying i said no (dh) and jsut go by the book, if she wants to switch weekends and you REALLY don't mind, sure, but i get the double weekend. or no, the decree says, so that's what's gonna happen

can't do nothing about the constant school switching...least not for a while, if it's consistant for a few years then i'm sure you'd have a case but all they will do is slap her hand (probably)

slymom's picture

oh i have told her the story about the little boy who cried wolf SEVERAL times already that still doesnt help. The major problem is her bm and bm's mom encourage her to tell stories and never ever tell her no! they act scared of sd and she basically has no respect for women at all! I really dont know what to do anymore. If sd dont get her way she is complete hell to deal with.