I had "words" with BM the other day. She called my home and had an inappropriate conversation with SD. Since the conversation was inappropriate and involved my child, I emailed her and let her know it was unacceptable. I was not mean. I simply outlined my boundary.

Her response was about how much I hated her. That got me to thinking for a few minutes. I don't hate her. I don't feel anything about her at all. I imagine in her world where she is constantly grilling her daughter about things that go on in our home, she thinks I am just as preoccupied with her as she seems to be with dh and I. Truth is. I'm not. I don't care about her life. I haven't had to actually see her up close in more than 3 years. Other than that email, I haven't spoken to her in at least that long. My dh and I never speak of her.

She has indicated in the past that she feels I am bitter and that I have self-esteem and jealousy issues. This amuses me more than anything. She has nothing I want. I am independent and strong. I am married to dh because I love him, not because I need him. I occasionally check out her fb because our attorney said it was a good idea, but other than occasional amusement at her ability to change history, I am apathetic regarding her activity there.

I have no reason to be bitter. Yes, she put my dh through hell but we're so far beyond all of that. We won that battle. I guess she might think I am bitter because of the cs and alimony. Maybe I would be if I felt I were picking up the slack, but my dh brings more money into our home after cs and alimony than I do. Furthermore, those money issues have little to do with her. They're court ordered. Not something SHE did to dh. Notice I said dh? It has nothing to do with me. It isn't my money. My happiness isn't dictated by the dollar.

Most of her argument back to me was deflection from the matter at hand. She intentionally brought up a traumatic experience to throw me off balance. It didn't work. She made it about her poor victim feelings, which mean nothing to me. Then it occurred to me. She isn't used to people being blunt. She is used to intimidating people or people being too kind to address her. I am not passive aggressive by nature. If I am unhappy about something, I make it clear.

The only real feelings I have regarding BM is the sadness I feel for her daughter. She intentionally hurts her kid in an effort to make herself feel superior. I can't control that when sd is in her care, but I won't allow it when SD is here.