I know that most of my vents have been about ss4 and his immature, childish behavior. But this weekend I realized that SO is responsable for at least 80% of the ssons behaviors. I've tried so many times to gently remind SO that ss4 should not be treated like he's 2, and that if he's treated like a baby, he WILL continue to act like one.

WE went to the beach yesterday and on our way back to the car, ss3 was holding my hand, walking nicely and was happily playing. All of a sudden, ss4 started crying wanting daddy to pick him up. I told SO no, let ss4 walk the rest of the way since the car is right there. SO ignored me, pick up ss4. Right then, ss3 started crying, threw himself on the floor wanting to be picked up as well. SO asked me to pick up ss3 which I did, walked a couple steps and handed ss3 to SO, then I continue walking. SO became mad at me for not helping him and therefore he was carrying two kids and all the beach stuff. My response to him? I reminded him that the kids are acing like brats because he keeps sending them messages that all they have to do is cry and they get whatever they want.

In the afternoon, I took ss3 shoe shopping while SO went shopping for fishing equipments with ss4. We were in the store for about 45 mins, ss3 was well behaved, he tried on shoes, he helped me try on shoes, we played hide and seek, we had a blast! One of the saleslady was telling me how well behaved my son was. Well the second ss3 saw SO, he started crying, threw tantrums, wanting to be picked up, he made a complete 180! SO gave me a puzzled look, then he told me, him and ss4 could hear ss3 laugh and they were on the other side of store watching me and ss3 have a great time and he doesn't understand why ss3 is all of sudden cranky.

Another example, SO still uses a baby monitor when the boys nap during the day. If he hears a peep from either one, he literally runs to their room. I can understand using baby monitor at night in case they have nightmares but during the day? And get this, the boys won't fall asleep (nap or at night) unless we're laying down with them. They go to daycare and preschool during the weekday. According to the teachers, they fall asleep at nap time without handholding or someone laying down with them. When my friend or other relative babysit, they fall asleep fast and without asking to be cuddled but when daddy or sm is there, they'll be tantrum if we don't lay next to them.

I'm so tired of this and I'm going to slowing pull away, be less involved. SO is not taking this too well, he thinks I'm punishing him(and the boys) when I'm not helping him cater to their every need. From my perspective, I'm just trying to keep my sanity.