SS14 has friends now...and I'm still having issues with it.

I'm glad that SS14 is doing summer youth, so he has a job for part of the week. I feel bad because when the kids are home I'm overwhelmed at times with the amounts of attention they need. Of course, these things occur in waves, so there are good times in between.
The newest issue is that SS14 has made some friends to hang out with. The two boys are okay, they seem like good kids. However, he introduced me to a girl also about 2 days ago. This little girl is now in our apartment with his other two friends. He had asked us originally if he could have one of the boys over to watch a movie, and we told him that was fine. We went into the room because SO works nights and he was going to sleep for a bit, but they couldn't get the television to fix, so they knocked on the door to ask SO to fix it.
When SO comes back to the room, he tells me that little girl is also in the living room along with the other guy friend. I felt a way about it, but didn't say anything because I didn't want to embarrass SS14. The kids got here at about 630pm. At about 8pm, I got up to use the bathroom, and while I'm using it, the little girl walks right in (no shoes on, came out of the boys room, where they all moved to without permission) and proceeds to preen herself in the mirror, never realizing I'm there. I literally had to get up from the toilet and say "Hey, xyz". She got startled and gave me a hug (I told you guys I met this girl 2 days ago right?) and walked right out of the bathroom into the kitchen to grab something out of the kitchen.
I looked at SS14 and said "So now our house is the hangout house?" He says "Well I told you we were gonna watch a movie." I said, "You know that's not what I'm talking about but we will talk to you later" and he goes "Well Daddy knows they're all here". And I'm like "We'll talk about it later".

They are still locked in his room. SS14, SS9, the 2 male friends and the female. I'm not liking this at all but of course don't want to be the "evil stepmom" since Daddy didn't say anything. I'm not going to disturb SO's sleep over this as he's waking up in an hour anyway. I know teenagers do crap like this, and I was a teenager once also. But this is annoying! Any suggestions?

P.S. No consideration for SO, I think they are all play fighting, as they are so loud.

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Oh hell no. Not at my house.

Oh hell no. Not at my house. If barge in, open doors and in the bedroom would not be allowed. I'd even go sit with them in the main room or bring them closer to your hang out area.

Not ok.

Kids these age are hormonal (aka "horny") as hell and need supervision and limited alone time.

I remember being that she and the friend who's house we all hung out in, literally locked the door and had her first sexual encounter with boyfriend while mom and dad was In The other room.

I keep this in mind as I deal with my own 13 and 14 year olds. I let the boys hang with the girls for 30 minutes one day after school and find out later by my 9 year old that they played truth or dare - no doubt led by ss14 who had a crush on one of dd13's friends.

Thanks Stepoff, My main

Thanks Stepoff,

My main issue today was definitely that they all moved the movie watching to the room and closed the door with a female there. Guys only is not an issue but the girl thing is new and I'm definitely not comfortable with that.

Hey Sue, I never said that I

Hey Sue,

I never said that I didn't want him to have friends so please don't "guess that". One of the boys he is hanging out with has been coming over for the past month or so. He asked permission for that boy to come over and watch a movie. I wasn't expecting him to also invite the other boy and girl. The night before that ss9 had 2 friends over, but they asked me first if they could come. I like to know beforehand who is coming over, just like I would imagine any normal person would. So I don't like coming out of my room and there are people in my apartment that I didn't know would be there and whom I don't know.

Also, I mentioned that SO was sleeping because he needed to do the overnight shift. He didn't know they moved to the room. I didn't want to be the evil bitch stepmother, so I didn't want to embarrass SS14 by telling them all to go back to the living room because like you rightly said, the "no girls in your room" rule hasn't been enforced because there has only been one other time he brought females over and locked himself in the room with them and I don't know if SO really put his foot down when he told him no girls in your room.

I am not skids' parent and SO knows and accepts that I am pretty much disengaged when it comes to general discipline so he will be the one to set the rules, I'll just enforce when he's not around.

I guess I'm just not

I guess I'm just not comfortable with the girl situation. Never really have an issue with the boys coming over as long as they ask first.

Today I told my BS11 that

Today I told my BS11 that he's not allowed to play in his room with his friend (who is a girl) anymore. They can play Pokemon & Bakugan in either the front room or the office (door open & I can see into). He was confused but I said "it's not OK for you to be playing in bedrooms anymore because you are getting older & she's a girl, you're a boy". His aspie self was all "it's just Pokemon". I told him I didn't care, these are the rules now.
Of course, as she was leaving today I told them "no kissing under the tree". BS11 was shocked & embarrassed while the girl was all "what? Ew". I laughed at them because it was obvious that neither were aware of things, & I'm going to be setting ground rules now, before BS11 gets any thoughts about girls.

^^^thats too cute! I wish

^^^thats too cute! I wish SS14 was still at that innocent phase but he isn't, and neither was that little girl.

This is what we agreed to

This is what we agreed to yesterday after SO woke up. We also agreed that unless we met any females parents or at the very least had a convo with them and they were ok with their daughter being here then no females allowed. If they are, only in the living room. I think I have to add that the boys only have bunk beds in their room with a tv, no chairs in there.

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