custody battle
I spent alot of time yesterday reading over all the blogs here yest thinking to myself, thank god someone other than myself will be burning in hell with me for their feelings. I however didn't see that any one had posted anything related to custody. Well if anybody out ther eis considering it, let me tell you, you might as well begin chewing your self into pieces. I believed that the little **** would be better for me and maybe not so much like her BM if she was around me all the time and my morals would wear off on to her. I AM A DUMBASS! She hates me more and thinks that her BM is GOD! She is 6 by the way but the way I describe her is like a middle age b**ch. I have never met an adult, more or less a child who is so manipulative. Her dad, my husband is about the stupidest person on the planet in my eyes, with the exception of his offspring. She rolls her eyes at me, tells my kids she hates me, tells my husband that I drown her in the bath: let me say though, since that little comment was made I haven't ever gave her a bath because she screams for her daddy as soon as i run water. My husband understands why. I worry that her lying is so out of control that eventually i will become a victim of her deciept and loose my babies for nothing. Her BM is the biggest liar ever and apparently my SD inherieted her traits. When we were in custody court, BM lied so much to the judge that he stood up in the middle of her testimony and said he cant take any more of the lies. Get off his stand. Gave us full custody, she gets visitation every other weekend and no holidays. then the judge and HER lawyer called her a (Slut Puppy)LOL!!! The court room was in a laughing uproar. "BM___name here," If we give your daughter back, will you continue to be a slut puppy and have your daughter around strange men all the time?" that was her lawyer speaking. How funny is that. More tomorow because im sure you don't want to read a book and that is about what I would have to write to tell you all about this craziness. But for now, if you can hang in there, i will try to as well. So happy to find you guys!
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We're in the exact same
We're in the exact same boat. How long have you had custody? I will say that when we first started having SD5 more often things definitely got way worse. She too lies and manipulates to the extent that I worry about what our future may hold. I will also say that dh and I are the exact same page with disciplining her especially when it comes to lying. It is not tolerated PERIOD. Over time things have improved. The biggest issue now is that I have a deep seeded resentment for both Wingnut (BM) and SD. They put us through hell, cost us a ton of money and no matter how much SD is here, her personality is set and she is a mini-wingnut. It is disturbing and I often don't like myself for the way I feel about a little kid. I try to separate my feelings for Wingnut from feeling for SD, but it is difficult because SD thinks mommy can do no wrong and often says she wants to be just like mommy (and she is doing a bang-up job of getting there). She is bossy, irresponsible and demanding. But I encourage her relationship with dh and I am respectful to her regardless of my feelings because it isn't her fault she was raised by wolves (eer, I mean her mother). I have found that removing myself (a lot) from her daily life has helped me keep my sanity and is the only way I can actually be fair to SD given my feelings about her. I don't like her but I do care about her and how she turns out so I am still involved in a good degree of rule setting. Of course, this only works because dh is on my side and follows through on the agreed upon rules and discipline so I don't have to always be the bad guy.
"God is great, beer is good, and people are crazy" and you can't change crazy!!
Hve you ever just felt like
Hve you ever just felt like she is doing every thing possible to make you crazy? I feel like it is the grand scheme of all. Make me crazy so she can like with BM. We have had her since march of 2009. My husband agrees that she is bad and a liar as well as other things. He is scared of spanking her because he is afriad she will hate him. I will spank her but he might get mad. I love your advice and thank you so much!
I think that there were
I think that there were times when Wingnut told her to do / say certain things. I know for certain Wingnut told her she doesn't have to listen to me. I nipped that in the bud right away because I refused to help her with anything / give her permission to do anything. Since dh wasn't here sometimes, that made for a very boring and difficult hour after school (for her). We don't spank because Wingnut would call the cops on us if we did. We just send her to her room (where she has nothing to play with) and let her throw her fit to her heart's content. I recently found out she bites her bed (teeth marks in all the wood) while she is in there, but I don't care. Its her bed. let her ruin it.
"God is great, beer is good, and people are crazy" and you can't change crazy!!
I wish she would eat her bed
I wish she would eat her bed or do something. Instead she literally sits in a little chair in the middle of the room and stares at people walking through the house. Creepy
Custody for us has been far
Custody for us has been far from a nightmare. In fact it has been an incredibly positive thing.
SS-17, though he has normal CranioRectitis teen boy issues is very well tuned to the fact that his BioDad is a DipShit and has no intention of emulating BioDads four out-of-wedlock spawn all raised by someone else life style. (sorry for the run on sentence)
My Son (SS) is BioDad's oldest, our only and raised by my Wife and I. #2 is by Mother#2 and was abandoned on SpermGrandMa's door step several years ago by Mother#2. #3 and #4 are by Mother#3 and have been raised by SpermGrandMa since birth.
My Son (SS) made both my Wife an I gag at dinner the other night when he commented how his Dad (BioDad) is 40 and "still thinks he is cool and a gang banger wannabe". BioDad looks like Opie Cunningham (Ron Howard) and insists on telling people his mother (SpermGrandMa)is black. She looks like Aunt Bee for God's sake and BioDad is more Vanila Ice than LL Coo Jay. There is nothing African American about him.
The Skid just got back from 3wks of Winter visitation and things were fresh in his mind. His Mom and I told him to be nice and be respectful because he was talking about his "Father" though we had to admonish him through tears of supressed laughter.
As a PC disclaimer. I have no issue with any race/ethnic background/religion/sexual orientation/etc..... What I have a problem with is STUPID PEOPLE. I have a problem with BioDad.
Everyone can do the math on where he fits in the STUPID PEOPLE hierarchy.
Best regards,
Success is rarely final. Failure is rarely fatal. It is character, courage and consistency of effort that count. Vince Lombardi (with some minor Rags modifications) To each according to their performance, screw Karl Marx. (Rags)
Excellent! You made my day!
Excellent! You made my day! Especially bc today is BM's turn to endure the pain of her own creation for a while. Although bm is making it hard on me, she doesn't live on the gravy train when it comes to my SD being "sweet princess" for her either. Thanks!
(not as)SoFedUp (today)!!