I'm new to this and need help!

I have a SD who is 10 and a little bit of a discipline problem. She has ADHD, so I try to cut her some slack for a lot of things. She has a lot of problems, one of which is that she thinks she shouldn't have to wipe her ass. My wife got so tired of washing her shitty panties that she has to do her own laundry now. We used to spank her when she did dumb stuff, but 1. she's getting too big for that and 2. she's seeing a therapist who says we shouldn't (self-esteem, you know). So now she does her own laundry, but this doesn't help, I guess. She still isn't wiping her butt good. My wife got called to pick her up from school Wed. b/c her butt hurt - normally wife says no to school pick-up unless there is an apt. or the girl is running a fever, but she thought it might be constipation (SD said it hurt to go to the bathroom), so she picked her up. When they got home SD asked wife to take a look at it, so she did. It was a big poop spot where SD didn't wipe good and had left a big rash. Wife made SD go take a shower then put a medicated bandaid on it.

Totally un-related issue, Wed. night, SD has nightmare that she tells us at dinner last night that a deamon walks around our house and then takes SD to another deminsion to his apt. She says he visits her once a year and used to want to kill her but now he's her friend. I tell her I'm the meanest thing in the house so she shouldn't be afraid.

She goes to school talking about the deamon that visits her at night.

So, today the school calls my wife again. They want her to sign a release for SD to talk the school district's therapist and another release for the school to get to talk to SD's weekly therapist and to be able to view the therapists files. The school point blank said it was b/c of the fact she was having pain in her bottom and that she is being visited by a deamon at night.

I'm not stupid. I think they're trying to set me up on sex abuse charges. Has anyone here ever had this problem? What do I do? I want to tell them to fuck off to their faces. I think that would be a bad idea though.