I've heard good things about the powers of positive reinforcement... looking into the mirror and repeating out loud confidence boosters...

I've also observed, based on experience, that many women who are completely nuts to their ex when there's a kid involved, do so behind closed doors. Kind of like the charismatic narcissist that everyone loves but he treats his significant other like crap...

I don't really have poor self esteem, but I do have my days where I feel less than normal...and those are the days where I usually take extra care with what I'm wearing, hair, makeup... and I tend to feel better about myself after a little while.

He chose all of them. :?
Stop listening to what your husband is saying. He's talking crap about BM, because she left him.

Her looks, personality, number of friends...should have zero impact on you.

Your self esteem issues are not a BM (or husband problem). You have to learn to love yourself and be comfortable in the skin you're in. Once you are able to do that, you won't give a flip about BM.

Stop comparing yourself to others. So, she's beautiful, so what? Her "loads" of friends are probably more like acquaintances, who do not really know the real her. Beautiful people who have nothing else to offer, are not that beautiful.

Stop looking at her on social media. If you have that much free time, find a hobby that you enjoy and are good at. Do something constructive and productive.

I'm surprised my SO's ex's have started a facebook page for themselves because they're all friends on FB now. With the exception of BM1 they're all fairly attractive women. One of them was a few years ahead of me in school and took it upon herself to friend request/message me one day.

They say curiosity kills the cat, and this cat hasn't learned her lesson yet, but I entertained this strange exchange and she said that she was really happy for my SO and glad that things were working out for him. She had all kinds of nice things to say, and then began telling me how great BM1 is (AHAHAHAHAHHA she clearly does not know BM1.....at all and how BM2 is such a piece of trash-BM2 is actually a good mom-she's immature and babied, she has a history (but who in this story doesn't) but she's light-years better than BM1) and how wonderful his ex before her was. His ex that he was engaged to, that left him, came back, left again, came back preggo with some other dude's baby, played house and left again after her baby Daddy committed suicide, so she could play the grieving widow and pretty much devastated my SO.

It was shortly after that that I first met him. Boi was a hot mess. His ex is pretty girl, she seems cute, according to the messaging ex she's a saint-obvi she doesn't know everything about that little situation either. I've seen the hate mail SO received from that Saintly Ex of his.

Regardless, FB makes all kinds of things seem all types of ways and most the time, you're missing 90% of the story. She may look like she has it all together, and I hope she does, but it's never as simple as it seems. Don't sweat it, no one parks their skeleton's on the alter of social media.

Meanwhile, you've got you-that's all you ever need, and that's pretty awesome all on it's own. Don't ever forget it.

33 years is the perfect time to dive into no longer seeking validation from others. It doesn’t matter if your husband chose you. That doesn’t give YOU value. A man picking you out of the flock is not going to make you feel any better if you regard it all as you and a bunch of women milling around like hens in waiting. You are a valuable and normal human being.

Well, this is low budget counseling but hey, this group gives pretty good advice

Building your self esteem is possible, but you have to recognize the triggers that make you feel low and really dig to find out why you feel that way.

Another thing is, quit putting how you feel about BM2 onto your DH. Not fair to him and hurtful to you. I have known several people that sound like BM2 and they ARE evil...some people hang because they fear it and some hang because they don't see it...doesn't matter, she is not your issue.

Practice accepting what your DH says as truth, if you really think it is the truth, and keep in mind that this anxiety is what YOU need to address. Anyone would find it frustrating to be told "how they feel"....I hate it...hated it when my DH would tell me "how I felt" when I didn't...how does it make you feel when someone tries to tell YOU how you feel or don't feel about something?

I read a book years ago, but it is still in print, and it helped me through my co-dependency with little exercises I could do in any situation...you may want to investigate it, still works after all these years....Codependent No More, Melody Beattie

Having had low self esteem my entire life, I can relate.

I think I am somewhat of the swan, you know... the type who had a uni brow, long black hair and buck teeth in a sea full of pretty kids in middle school... then became "hot" in high school (thanks tweezers, boobs and braces), but didn't know how to handle it so I let boys take advantage of me. Then comes the series of bad relationship. Yeah, I am a poster child for low self esteem.

My therapist helps me out with this. First of all, we are all people. We all have days we feel bad about ourselves, we have family issues, relationship issues, we all get diarrhea, etc. No one is glamorous and awesome all the time.

The BM in our life is super arrogant and seems to have a high opinion of herself. Truly, this woman thinks she is a Victoria's Secret angel. Not to mention things that would eat me alive don't seem to phase her. That used to make me feel really inadequate at times. Now I kind of see her for the delusional person she is. Progress on my part...

You just have to do your best to treat yourself well and not compare your file to the false image you have of BM2.... which is what it is, a false image. She is just a person. A flawed person!