We were at a family party yesterday (without SS13 since he was at BM's for visitation) and Step-FIL was chatting us up. SS13 will often stay the night at MIL and SFIL's house and will confide in them.

SFIL starts out by saying that SS seems to be enjoying the time he spends at his mom's (as prior to last summer, she was basically absent for 7 years). DH chimes in that it's nice to see her taking some responsibility for her child and its nice for SS to get to know his mom.

Then SFIL busts out with, "ya, I guess she told SS13 that she regrets divorcing DH". Well, of course she does. He paid all the bills, she got to spend her paycheck on whatever she wanted, he handled all of the child care - dropping and picking SS up, meals, etc. She had it made AND she just partied, partied, partied and came and went as she pleased. Um, ya. A free ride without any responsibility sounds good to me too.

BM now lives with her friend/girlfriend that she left DH for back when SS was 5 and her GF's parents. She has struggled with alchohol and is a pot head, claims she is "low income" and only works 7 hours a week (I call bullshit on that). She drives the same old used car that she bought back when her and DH were together and looks a wreck.

Even though I know that DH is head over heels in love with me and calls me the love of his life, it still bothered me to wonder what he must be thinking hearing that she regretted the divorce. (Since BM was absent, DH never actually filed for divorce until I came along and helped him with everything. He never knew where she was and was always afraid his son would be taken away so he didn't rock the boat. Dumb, I know).

I asked him two or three times if he regretted the divorce. Finally he asked me why I kept asking him that and if someone said something at the party. I had to remind him that we ALL had a discussion about BM and SS. He said, "Oh, I just tune everything out when her name comes up so I didn't hear."

Then of course he assured me that he despises her for everything she did to him and SS and thinks of me as his angel and he truly admires me. He also said, "well, she got pregnant, so it was very different. I chose you." Then I said, "yes, but you wanted to have a baby at that time." and he said, "well, I really should have shopped around more."

I love him!

... and continue to feel nothing but pity for this woman who now, apparently, realizes all that she walked away from. No, DH is not rich by any means, but he is a really true and loyal man - exactly the type of person you'd want on your side forever

Oh, and it's our one year anniversay tomorrow!