This is a vent about exH and bio's activities
I know that extra curriculars are brought up often here but I need to let this out.
We have three children together and do most of the managing and coordinating of the children's schedules. I provide him reminders of what's going on - all things on his parenting time and big things that may be taking place during my time. We get along quite well and have a good parenting relationship.
I played lots of sports and was very involved in activities growing up and think it's very important -especially for kids that do well in activities and enjoy them. I think offering them extras helps them learn about working with others and to develop interests that they may enjoy throughout their lives. exH, did not take pare in any activities at all. He did not play sports and was an outcast in highschool and ended up in a continuation school. He went off to the marines and shaped up completely and is a very responsible adult with his own business, etc.
So... DS9 loves ALL SPORTS and excels in everything. He's got a great attitude and is a great sport and I'm impressed all the time with this kid. He wants to try everything, which I'm fine with, and he does most all of the after school activities at his school. He also plays baseball and has been invited to play on a travel ball team. The coach said that it's be pretty low key, but exH is against it and says it will take too much time and money away from the family. We haven't discussed cost or time commitment yet and I am getting the sepcifics from the coach on this. exH is expecting that he'll have to check in to hotels for the weekends for tournaments and he doesn't want to drag the DD13 and DS10 (and SM, I'm sure) along for activities focused on one child. I get it.
But this is for 7-9 year olds with a year one travel ball coach, so I don't anticipate that this will be at the level of the older kids - which is the picture someone has painted him. I told him that I'd get the info for him, and that I'd be happy to commit to taking him and returning him as it's something he REALLY wants to do and he's a very good kid.
ExH gave the excuse that he won't be able to go camping, lol. I reminded him that we have three children and as they get older, we're going to need to allow them to develop their interests and they will often go off doing their own things.
He conceded and told me to get all the info and that he shouldn't be making his decisions based on a conversation with a friend (with older kids).
Anyway, any comments from people with experience in this area would be appreciated.
- step off already's blog
- Log in or register to post comments
Comments
My grandson has a friend that
My grandson has a friend that plays travel soccer, gson only plays county, and they are 10 years old. The friends parent said they practice 4 days a week and travel almost every weekend and some days they are at the field for 5 or 6 hours.
If your DS has never done travel team, talk to other parents about the amount of time and money they spend. Baseball is a long game and if they play multiple games that are spread out over a day, you have to consider at least 2 of your meals on the road and drinks and snacks while sitting around waiting for the games to start.
I'm pretty clear on the
I'm pretty clear on the commitments as the team progresses. At this point the kids are only ages 7-9 and this is a year one coach and they are going to do this pretty low key this year.
I have other friends with older kids who go ALL WEEKEND LONG. And I think that's crazy and don't know how they manage - especially when they have more than one kid.
I really can't give any
I really can't give any input. My son never had parenting time with his father (he never wanted it) and our BM would sign the skids up for anything and everything - not because they wanted to - so she could get her "alone time" AND have a built in excuse for denying my DH's parenting time.
I am sure you are not like this and you are offering to take them for his convenience not just stating, "This is how it will be whether you like it or not!"
No. I always talk to exH
No. I always talk to exH about everything I enroll the kids in and get his opinion, especially if there will be anything taking place on his time. I usually pay for the extras along with any equipment they need for it. Occasionally, I may ask him to help pay if it is an on-going fee, like for a weekly club at the school.
I like having time away from the kids and I love spending time with them. I just don't want them to miss out on things that they excel at because their dad doesn't see value in it and/or he doesn't want to put the time in. Heck, I certainly don't LOVE attending baseball games, running to a softball game, getting kids to and from practices, etc, etc, but that's what I signed up for when I had my kids and I always look back after each season is done and have good memories. And that's what I want for the kids also.