Ostensibly CS is for the direct support of the child. In reality there is no requirement by the courts that the CP spend it directly on the kid and there is no accounting required on how CS is spent by the CP.

CS is for food, shelter, clothing, transportation, extra curriculars, etc, etc, etc.... unless otherwise stipulated in the CO.

Other than CS the only other support requirement that the CO requires from my SS's SpermIdiot is that he pay half of visitation travel expenses and half of any medical costs not covered by insurance.

We attempted to get the DipShit to pay for half of our kid's trumpet and music lessons and karate but the judge was very clear. CS covers the NCPs portion of all kid related support including extracurriculars.

Unless it is specifically stipulated in your Skids Custody/Visitation/Support order that your DH covers half of all kid activities in addition to CS then CS is all he owes. His CS is his participation on the cost of your SD's cheerleading.

I would send BM the message that it is her responsibility to manage CS in order to provide for your SD adn also give SD clarity that her father has already given BM the money for cheerleading. He does that with his CS checks.

What does the court order say? If it doesn't say anything about extracurricular activities, don't give her the money for this activity. Tell her to take it out of cs.

If you don't have a court order, get one and don't leave any stone unturned in it. Make sure it covers everything from paying for extracurricular activities and medical right down to who will do the driving to exchange the kids.

I'm in Santa Barbara. Please let me know if I can help.

it depends on your state's rules. Here in NY, there is a set percentage of the NCP's gross income and then they tack on extracurricular stuff, out of pocket stuff etc. In reality they can go back with all the receipts and demand to the courts that you pay half. You live in one of the UN-friendly NCP biodad states so you'll probably end up paying for it. The CP parent is *supposed* to consent with the NCP parent before making decisions in NY, but that rarely happens and is rarely enforced. In my case it NEVER happens. The BM does what she wants and tells GG about it afterwards by presenting him with a bill. Lately, (knock on wood) she had not contacted us because the three skids have PASed out but it's only a matter of time, even though GG is paying for daycare via CS that she hasn't used in over 3 years now.

My SS's SpermIdiot paid $110/mo for a year, $130/mo for 9 years and $380/mo for 7 years. Pretty much not enough to make a damned bit of difference for my Skid.

At most his CS represented less than 1% of our monthly income. So in our case CS did not ever amount to crap other than my SS never having to hear that his SpermIdiot did not care enough about him to pay support. The truth is that the SpermIdiot really did not give a shit about my SS enough to pay a dime... ever. SpermGrandMa paid her idiot son's CS obligation to my SS.

My SS, now 19, knows it too and things his SpermIdiot is a dirt bag. Not because my wife or I ever badmouthed the SpermIdiot or SpermClan but because the child I raised as my own has never been lied to by his mom or I. When the SpermIdiot or any member of the SpemrClan loaded him up with vitriolic crap we countered with facts. He eventually learned that most of the facts were available in our office Custody/Visitation/Support file cabinet drawer. He saw the subpoenaed information showing that SPermGrandMa paid CS for him, etc, etc, etc....

Though my skid never got crap from his idiot SpermDad other than the shallow and polluted end of his gene pool I can readily recognize that NCP BioDads generally get screwed by the system.

In the event that your BM loads SD up with a load of crap thad "dad did not help with your cheerleading" your DH needs to have the answer front, center and readily communicated that he pays a large amount of money every month and participates in paying for everything his daughter needs or does.

$500/mo totals up pretty quickly and he will be able to show that he has given BM far more than the $1000 that cheerleading costs. It is the CP's responsiblity to manage their household income ot provide for the kids. The NCP has no control over how the CP spends CS.

I would put this back on the CP by sticking with the facts.

Good luck.