uptight
i don't know how to handle my anxiety the comes bouta day or so we pick up the sk's...they are young my son is grown, it's hard to be around small kids. I love my husband and i need to know how to help this and myself???
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Realize that its
Realize that its understandable to feel the way you do since you have already "been there, done that." You have raised your children already and you are ready to make life all about you. Again, nothing wrong with that. I feel that way too only I loved when they were small and I absolutely cannot stand going through the teenaged years with the skids. I say trade them all in when they turn 8...lol.
Anyway, what I did was I just don't deal with them. My husband's kids come to visit. I will cook them a meal if I'm cooking otherwise their father handles that. If they need something, I tell them to ask their father. I don't engage them in conversation and generally only talk to them when they ask me a question. I don't plan any vacations anymore and I don't buy their presents for holidays. Dad has to handle all of that. But my skids gave me a reason to disengage from them. They are hauty little snots.
So the best advice I can offer is to use those weekends as time for yourself. Schedule a lunch or shopping with your friends. Get your nails done or get a pedicure. Let dad entertain the kids. Be the nice lady that they see on the fly.
you and i do the same
you and i do the same things,make my husband handle his children i just get so worked up it's awful...sd is a drama queen and a bed wetter sometimes 2 times a night...im freakin out..thank you for your advise i really really appreciate it.
iknow, i love my husband,
iknow, i love my husband, but the kids are lot of work even though its only every other weekend...i try to keep out of it, we seem to argue a day or so after they leave, usually bout his daughter, it sucks, shes a handful drama queen in the middle of everything we say or do, she thinks she is an adult....
I know how you feel. I love
I know how you feel. I love my husband but I wonder how much more I can tolerate his kids SD13 and SS18. They chose to live with their dad full time over their BM. My SD just annoys me and I hate being around her. She needs constant attention.She got caught drinking at 11 and lying and doing drugs a couple of months ago. She likes to knock on our bedroom door every chance she gets for any excuses. I'm at the point I no longer want to sit down and have dinner with them. I spend half of my life in my room to avoid them. This is no way to live...
That is no way to live. Have
That is no way to live. Have you discussed this with your DH? If so what did he say? SK can be horrible beings and very selfsih and I hate how people point fingers at the step parents right away. Lay ground rules if they don't abide by them and do not respect your privacy then don't respect their privacy. Knock on their door every chance you get. Let them know they will not come between you and your DH. If they want to be a part of the family they should start acting like it, if not..tell them to go live with their mother and do what they want there.
Purpleflower
I raised two daughters now
I raised two daughters now 15 & 23 and a step daughter now 20. I remarried again (ugh) and DH has three.. 4,6 & 8. I felt the same way and realized I was putting too much thought into it. I came to terms with the fact I had rasied a family and these children were DH's responsibility. It helps that he is a responsible father and his kids love me. I often joke that I look at them as grandchildren, but that is more truth than fiction. I buy them cute clothes, wipe their noses, hang their art work on the frig and correct them when they act up... but when they go home to BM they are out of sight out of mind.