:? Sooo.....Hello evryone, I'm very grateful to have found such a site that offers support, etc. for Stepparents. Dear God.....I must say....( Can't wait to vent and seek advice)...

I've been married for almost a year now. My husband and I met when his daughter was about 4 months. Never thought I'd fall for a guy with a child.
I truly feel like the child is out to make my life horrible, even though she will be two this summer, she is beyond the normal two year old.
The child's mother is a f**king pill. The custody agreement goes to s**t whenever the child's mother feels like it. I know it is not Politically Correct to speak of this next topic but it is an issue in the matter.....the child's mother is a homosexual and I think she engages in illegal activites. Bad for the child and harder for my husband to be apart of his child's life but I also feel like the mother is trying to harm my marriage and the child to make my husband lose evrything.
I don't want to talk to the child's mother because Dear God there will be a fight. I hate when his child do come over because its like evrything is my fault, do this for her and that, I can barely look at this child with a nice smile because I can't stand her mother and I hate broken homes...but yet I am in one. I don't have any children of my own......trying...I have PCOS...had an ectopic on thanksgiving. I'm so stressed I can't even manage to have a regular cycle which does effect fertility. So.....looking at my husband interact with his daughter and she's sooo whinny, so needy, but yet when I pitch in to help (btw my husband is illegally blind) the child says no, or cry when I try to help. It's like she like me sometimes and sometimes no. Sometimes I even feel like I'm sharing my husband with the bond of a woman and child. How can I not stress over this? Why does it bother me? I love children, but why can't I LIKE my stepchild? I love my husband, and still madly in love with him but should I have not let love jump in because of the factor of a child that is not mine that I have to help care for, the child and the mother don't care for me much, even my husband's family thought I messed up the home but the child's mother was unfaithful to him, bold liar, and the list goes one. I felt like superwoman at one point.....coming in saving this man and his baby from the evil woman....adding nurture and love and finance to the picture...and now the superwoman effect is dying down. My hair is falling out, I lost my job, I can't get pregnant again to save my life, and my class level has just decreased from middle to low. i'm hurting but at the end of the day I can say I love my husband....am I crazy or what? Somebody.....any response is appreciated....Thanks for reading............