Before my sd11 and I really started to connect (and it took 3 years and bm to virtually disappear), i told my dh i thought of her as the spawn of satan. i'm excited to say i don't feel the same way now, but I was there not too long ago. When sd 11 moved in with us full time i told him we'd be divorced in a year.....fortunately for me bm stayed away long enough that sd11 started to realize i wasn't the b-i- bad word her bm made me out to be and my dh really stood up for me when it came to sd11. He let me pick the punnishment when she would talk back to me....i picked scrubbing baseboards.....fyi we have 6 in tall white wooden baseboards in our house. It didn't take long before she realized baseboards weren't fun and it was easier to be nice to me. Somewhere over the past year she has come to actually love me! WOO HOOO GO ME! GO ME! But I wish I had found this site long beforebecause I have really needed this outlet. I am also thrilled to see how supportive everyone is and how willing to help with great advice as well.