well in order to understand, I have to give some back story.

My dh told me he was divorced when we met. He told me they hadn't been together since his youngest was a few months old. She was born in march 2006. We met March 15, 2010. Dating right away, told me he wanted to only date each other, waited a year to meet the kids and his nasty ass ex. He basically hid how she was the entire time. They had an agreement with the kids, things were civil (ha).

Fast forward to November last year, when I was at home and a sheriff showed at my door. I thought good lord my ex and his shit again, NOPE.

It was a court date, BM was requesting a calculation on CS and custody. WHAT??? I called DH, said thought this was taken care of, what is she talking about. Apparently BM found out DH got a raise, wanted more money. Had told him over the phone if he could take the kids places and buy them stuff, he could "pay her more money" her words.

Here is where the shit falls apart for me. This was right before thanksgiving and the court date was to be December 18th, right before Christmas.

MIL couldn't conveniently find the divorce papers, he supposedly signed in 2009 or the custody order he swears he had. So since when I do go into my office its right beside the courthouse, he asked me to pick up the papers. He talked to a lawyer got the court number, so off I went.

I got the papers and it said they were divorced in March 18, 2010. Just a short few days after we had started dating, and it was no contest, sent in the same day, with it saying that DH had signed a waiver that he didn't want to be notified of the final decree. WTF??

There was no custody order, here is the kicker, this bitch has been getting CS for years, I mean since 2007, no custody order, no divorce. It is also DCSE enforced, so they take 599 a month out of his check. NEVER heard of this before, never.

So we fought, we argued, I asked for the truth. He told me, he hadn't been lying and he "thought" they were divorced. I told him and his stupid parents, I didn't trust anything any of them told me, the paperwork was right there.

So after 2 years of asking him to get a DNA on the kids. He finally gets a home DNA, does it when I am gone on the only kid who comes over anymore, the one who looks exactly like BM. He sends it off, I'm pissed.

He was initially talking about doing it when I was there. He rushed home with her one Friday, did the test and I never even saw the envelope. Dropped it at the post office, the next day, got the results in 3 days, it says it's his kid. DO NOT TRUST HIM.

This isn't the worse part, court comes. He decides right before to meet with BM, a secret meeting, I don't know the time, the place, nothing, then he calls while she's there to ask me questions as if I'm suppose to help him.

they agree to joint custody, she has custodial, neither can make or coerse the kids to take visitation. WTF?? And her to receive another $120 a month. What?? He has a daughter here too.

The lawyer he hired supposedly said, that was a good deal because she could get more, because she doesn't work. Let's put it as she chooses not to work because she's a lazy bitch.

They go to court, he says the judge wanted him to pay $1035.00 a month, which doesn't even compute because #1 he has a child at home, #2 they are suppose to impose her a minimum wage salary. I figured out the forms and it was like $750 at most and that was without our daughter figured in it.

He says, judge says she doesn't have any income and he can impose $1035.00 and it will go to dcse. He swears that nasty money hungry BM stood up and said she didn't want to put him in a financial bind, that she just wanted what the agreed upon. BULLSHIT

So I ask to see the order because he tells me the judge isn't changing the DCSE order he was told pay her by check. AGAIN BULLSHIT!

Sometime in this month we get the order. It says, joint custody, primary mother, 2 weeks non consecutive father, no coerse or make kids go visitation......nothing about the $120

During one of our arguments, he says he told BM he wanted a DNA if she pressed for more CS, she said "go ahead the baby is yours". That's what he says to me. What baby? He says "Oh I mean the girls". I was pissed, she has 3rd child who look just like the other 2. She text him when we were dating saying "oh I am pregnant". WTF does that mean? I should have left.

He swears it's not his, it was a slip of the tongue. I will never know the truth, I told him in a letter, so we wouldn't scream. That this whole thing and all the lies, I didn't know how to go forward in this marriage. If there were secrets, he needed to tell me now.

What do I do with that? Her youngest kid is 4/5. SDs asked after the kid was born when was their baby sister vanna going to come visit daddy too. I went nuts. I told him he better explain it ain't his kid. Well is it?

I don't see this marriage lasting, what is left of it. I dream of moving, leaving him. I just don't want to put my 2 year old through what I put my older kids through.

I hate my life more than when I was with my lying, cheating, abusive ex husband.