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SS14 manipulating his way into my free time!

stepmommule's picture

Submitted by stepmommule on Thu, 07/31/2014 - 4:19pm

I posted this elsewhere on the site, however posting again as I need some feedback and advice!

I just had a big fight with DH this morning. We are going on a weekend getaway to see my family (leaving tomorrow). This is actually SS14 week to be with BM. However, he wanted to come with us to visit my nephews..and I said that would be ok. The ONLY thing I asked of DH was that I have Thursday night and Friday morning off to myself before we leave. Well, SS asked me if he could come over Thursday night, and I said "no we will pick you up on Friday afternoon when we are leaving". I expressly told DH I didn't want this and he agreed! So this morning DH calls to tell me that SS14 is coming over tonight...WTF? I work all week and just want to relax before we leave. I asked DH why he had done this, and he said to me "well, what do you expect me to do...SS14 is lonely...he has no friends and just wants some company" Really I am so mad...is it my problem he doesn't have any friends and I need to entertain him??? SS14 doesn't leave me alone either...he will be stuck to me like glue...arrghhh. SS 14 is with us a lot. DH feels that he cannot say no to him coming over as our place is his home as well. Am I wrong to feel this way? I feel that SS14 is being manipulative too!

Comments

stepmommule's picture

Submitted by stepmommule on Thu, 07/31/2014 - 5:04pm

Thank you everyone for your input. I have taken your advise and discussed with DH. He will be taking SS14 out tonight and also taking him to work tomorrow for half the day before we leave. Glad it turned out this way, but hating always having to go through the big drama or fight to get my point across.

notasm...I had thought about that too }:) He is damn lucky he is even coming in the first place, could have left him behind with BM.

Delilah's picture

Submitted by Delilah on Thu, 07/31/2014 - 5:53pm

I would warn dh if he does this again (regardless that he agreed to go out with ss in the end) that next time ss will NOT be coming with you. I would inform dh this is his fault, because while you understand his enjoyment in spending time with ss, you refuse to have YOUR needs ignored and esp when the arrangements had already been agreed upon and which then dh renegaded upon. Then if he does it again, follow through. It seems these men only understand the hard way.

stepmommule's picture

Submitted by stepmommule on Thu, 07/31/2014 - 8:00pm

You are so right! There will be consequences if next time my arrangements are not respected. I am feeling like I will not respect his arrangements either...just to teach him a lesson.

SharkHugs's picture

Submitted by SharkHugs on Fri, 08/01/2014 - 11:57am

The clingers really do manipulate! I had to fight tooth and nail to get my week alone (that I had been looking forward to all year and everyone knew it) when Pigpen and DH were at church camp. Hover-Round wanted to stick around instead of going to BM's because he wanted to sit on the computer all day long at the house while I was at work and be up my ass the whole time I was home with me cooking supper for him every night. So he kept "forgetting" to ask BM about staying with her that week even though he was told several times several months in advance to set it up. It was his responsibility since he is an "adult" and DH was refusing to do anything about it because "what's the big deal? why wouldn't you want him around?" and "He's lonely" ... guilt trip, guilt trip...

Hover-Round did not get his way. After hounding DH to set it up with BM for his "forgetful" child... I got my week of blessed solitude! It was soooooo nice! Too short though. Now they're all back annoying me again.