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Lies to change schedule

StepmomWifeTeacher's picture

Submitted by StepmomWifeTeacher on Wed, 07/25/2018 - 8:33pm

Goodness, I cannot keep up with the BM’s schedule change and the lies that follow. Just kidding, they are all in text. Lol I have 2 skids and my husband and I have been so nice to change the schedule during the summer to make the BM happy. You think it worked? Nope! She asked us to change the dates again, so she can go on vacation two weekends in a row. I’m mainly watching the skids and I do have the summer off, but I still have plans for myself. I’m nice though, so I accommodate the BM. Her schedule should be set now, right? Nope! Now, she is asking to pick the skids up and take them to a birthday party on the same weekend that she is suppose to be out of town with her spouse. At this point, I am rolling my eyes to the back of my skull and hoping they stick there. This is just ridiculous. My husband tells her by now that we have made plans and taking the children on an adventure. Which is completely true. BM was so upset that she hung up. Well, uhhh your welcome! I’m allowing this behavior, I know! I should put a stop to it. Honestly, I want my husband to take that initiative, but he works so much that I’m the one that usually has to speak to her. It is quite exhausting. He will get off work and I’m literally saying, “Baby, Baby, Please handle the rest of this! I, I, I, I, just can’t! I just can’t message her anymore. She’s ridiculous.” He looks at me and says, “What now?” I say, “she wants to change...” and he will say “again! Oh flip no!!” Lol I can’t help, but laugh at the situation now, but c’mon. This BM has some issues. We literally try our best to plan doctor appointments, family and friend plans, and my husband’s work around the skids schedule, but honestly there is no point bc it just changes anyways. (Sigh) It really feels good to blabber about all this on here! Thank you for reading! Now I can get back to my normal flipping life. Lol Till next round... good night

Comments

notsurehowtodeal's picture

Submitted by notsurehowtodeal on Thu, 07/26/2018 - 12:04am

If so, you might try following it without exception. You have tried to be nice and it is making your life more difficult, so go back to following the CO. At least that way you can make some plans that you can be sure will not be changed - well, reasonably sure!

strugglingSM's picture

Submitted by strugglingSM on Thu, 07/26/2018 - 1:28pm

We get those, too. BM always has some “unexpected” “business” trip come up forcing us to change weekends. One was on New Year’s Eve where she had a “really great opportunity” and needed to change weekends. Totally ruined our plans.

She was also away once and called DH the day before the kids were supposed to come home and told him that the heat was out at the house, so the kids couldn’t come home as scheduled. Not sure how she knew that since she was away. When he said no, the heat was miraculously restored.

Then there was that time when BM screamed and cried and told DH he was ruining her Christmas when he told her he couldn’t drive the 40 miles each way (BM moved away after they divorced) to drive the kids to and from school so her SO could join her on her business meeting. She said that her SO would have to cancel his plane ticket. Then while away she sent SS a picture of where they were staying - with her car prominently parked in front of the ski lodge, so they never had plane tickets.

Before he met me, DH's scheduled changed all the time at the whim of BM who wanted to give the kids up for as many weekends as she could. DH even had to take time off work on more then one occasion, when she went away and then not come back as scheduled. I told him I couldn’t live with constantly switching weekends because I had to make plans.

Of course, now that BM feels that DH has an established life and the kids might feel at home at our place, she now tries to keep them away as much as possible, because it’s really all about power and control.

The last time she tried to change she started by trying to manipulate DH into changing his weekend by telling him if she only saw the kids EOWE she would be really sad and he should want to see them more. Then saying how her family told her she should give DH more time. Only after that DH started ignoring her because he knew she was being a manipulative B, did she say, “no really, I need you to take the kids this weekend.” Mind you, he has asked repeatedly that they revisit the custody schedule to give him more non-weekend time with the kids (we’ve since moved closer to them at great inconvenience to ourselves) and she’s flat out refused!

StepmomWifeTeacher's picture

Submitted by StepmomWifeTeacher on Fri, 09/28/2018 - 7:43am

I know how you feel and you’re completely right. It’s all about manipulation, power, and control. We felt with it all summer. She was toying with us and knew how much it messed up our plans every time she changed the schedule. We are back on routine now that school is back in order and she has to stick to the schedule. Next summer I can promise you that we are not going to be generous and accommodating. We will be sticking to the custody agreement. 

tankh21's picture

Submitted by tankh21 on Thu, 07/26/2018 - 7:28am

It truly is all about control and power with these BM's. Their needs and wants are the only thing that matters. BM over here gave up her spring break 2 years back because apparently MIL wanted to see the skids. So they planned something without asking DH. BM and MIL do that a lot. Any way, MIL called up DH and said that she was coming for a week and that she wanted to see the skids and that they were coming to our house. When DH told me this I was like why did they not coordinate this with you? After that I told DH that no one makes plans without discussing this with us first because it affects our lives as well. Then when the time came when BM wanted something he tried to manipulate DH and tell him that she gave her time for spring break so he owed her. I told DH that no one asked her to give up her time and that she only is nice to people to get what she wants.

StepmomWifeTeacher's picture

Submitted by StepmomWifeTeacher on Fri, 09/28/2018 - 7:57am

wow! You’re right! Looks like BM’s are all the same. The nasty ones anyways. I have experienced the BM giving up one of her weeks during the summer (so she called it) and then she wanted one of our weeks. DH doesn’t like to argue so he said whatever. If he does argue with her, she goes on a huge rant and texts him novels and becomes a real b to get what she wants. She doesn’t like when I get involved because I am very scheduled and will tell her no, so she tried to message and call DH directly, but when it comes down to it... it all has to go through me because I’m the one who watches the skids. I feel bad for my husband bc he is stuck dealing with her for another 10 years and she still takes all his money. He works his butt off and can’t even afford his own place. His credit ruined bc of their divorce (she refused to sell and move out of their house) so it got foreclosed on and she blamed him. Lol She is a complete bimbo when it comes to common sense. I tried to have a conversation about medical insurance with her and it went right over her air head.