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steppystep's picture

Submitted by steppystep on Sat, 01/19/2013 - 10:42am

Since step daughters wouldn't stop their shit, DH told them he's taking off the time limits from their punishments. Now it's until they can be normal people. He said he sold their electronics but he just took them to the garage. (They have no access)

Their rooms are put together - it's one big room separated by shelves. One of the shelves was easy to move and walk through so that was like a door but we fixed that so it can't be moved like that.

The locks are off the doors and the doors can only be closed in case they're changing.

I hoped this will help at least a bit, to show them we're serious :?

But..
The 15 year old stepdaughter told us "You're definitely the worst bitch I've ever met, and you're the worst father by far, but now we have nothing to left lose and you have plenty"
The 16 year old just smirked and told me "bitch"

I almost punched her in the face :sick:

My husband told them to get in their rooms and keep their mouth shut.. He has no idea what to do now and I'm just so pissed

Comments

Lalena75's picture

Submitted by Lalena75 on Sat, 01/19/2013 - 10:48am

Ignore them their mouthyness can be handled by dad making them suck on some soap. Otherwise this just shows it's getting to them. Be prepared for bullshit abuse allegations. Otherwise pretend they don't exist.

stepmama2one's picture

Submitted by stepmama2one on Sat, 01/19/2013 - 10:49am

When my kids get in trouble I tell them," You are being grounded for X amount of time. When that X amount of time is up we will see how you are acting and if I decide you haven't learned your lesson I will be adding more time to your grounding."

This way if they are grounded for longer then they were suppose to be then they know that it was their own fault they were grounded and their own fault that they are going to be grounded for longer.

Great Mom but horrified Stepmom's picture

Submitted by Great Mom but h... on Sat, 01/19/2013 - 11:12am

Hmm. Not sure about this situation Steppy. I see lots of trouble ahead for you guys.

Where is the mother? It is an option to send the kids to go live with her full-time? The situation you describe isn't good for anyone and given that the girls are mid-teens already you can bet dollars to donuts they aren't going to change. They will just hate you more and more.

Their behaviour sounds outrageous but in fairness the punishments meted out sound outrageous as well. It is as if you are two sides of a civil war. Nobody is going to be able to see the other side's 'version' of the truth. Each side is convinced the other is in the wrong.

I'd seriously reconsider the living arrangements. Hopefully these girls can go live with their Mom and you, your new baby and your hubby can have some peace and enjoy family life.

The girls can visit or see you all for dinners. It'll be better for everyone.

whatwasithinkin's picture

Submitted by whatwasithinkin on Sat, 01/19/2013 - 11:56am

If I am not mistaken Mom is deceased.

I say forge forward...hold steady. Or you end up living like me. They will break.ignore the drama

oldone's picture

Submitted by oldone on Sat, 01/19/2013 - 12:40pm

Yeah they might not change - but that doesn't mean you should just sit their and kiss their asses because they are damaged goods.

Hopefully you can be rid of the last one in three years.

oneoffour's picture

Submitted by oneoffour on Sat, 01/19/2013 - 12:47pm

All they have left is words. And words may hurt but they are only sound waves in a certain order. If you think about it like this the rude comments lose their effectiveness.

I agree that you should back down, parent your own child and allow your DH to parent his own kids. He ALLOWED them to live in another country. He ALLOWED them to call the shots. And now he has a wife and another child he feels you should be the united front. Did you sign up to be their surrogate mother?

He should tell them "Your punishment is for xx days. At the end of that time I have faith I will see an improvement in your attitude. If I am proved wrong the punishment continues for another xx weeks. I don't like doing this but your behaviour is severely antisocial."

I also agree that they only have each other and add in a mountain of resentment. Maybe they imagine that they were shipped off to their relatives so Dad could find a new wife and a new life. Plus female hormones... sheesh!

Eventually they will realise that this is not about 'winning' but settling down. This negative attitude will eventually make them ill and they will develop aches and pains and almost catching a cold but not quite.

And you continue parenting your child and hands off the s/daughters. This is more about their father parenting them. And if they are rude to you, ignore. After all, THEY are in their rooms, not you. I would just say "I am sorry you feel like that..." Don't reward their 'sound waves' with an agressive reaction.