Girls (and guy steps) - if there are any of you out there who ARE NOT getting the support of your new spouse - thats where you need to start... Start by getting them on your side. They married YOU and brought you into this situation. If you have the support of your spouse, then the EX - as much of a trouble, or nuisance that they are, and the Step kids - as much of a pain as they can be.... all of that will be easier to take and will be resolved, if you can get your SPOUSE the biological parent / significant other of the one on the outside - on YOUR side. I honestly truly and 100% believe that our jobs as step parents cannot and will not work unless our spouses stick up for our rights. And everyone else is secondary. The kids will grow up and move away and get their own lives... the ex's will fade as that they grow.... and then it will be you and the spouse. And that's where everything starts and ends. Anyone have thoughts on that??