SS10 has a strange lump on his neck, and BM finally took him to the Dr this week as it's getting painful & is difficult for him to swallow. The Dr has referred him to a consultant at the hospital, and he's got his appointment on Monday morning. Now, with the NHS, they never move this quickly unless it's something potentially serious, I'm trying to convince myself that it's just because he's having trouble eating (and he's a skinny thing as it is) that they're moving fast with this, but the pessimistic side of me is worried about all sorts of other horrible things. I've been looking stuff up on the internet, and it ranges from 'don't worry, probably a small infection' to leukemia!

OH doesn't seem that bothered by all this, so I've not mentioned any of this because I don't want to get him worked up about it, but it's hard because my way of coping is to prepare for the worst so I'm not surprised.

What this has brought home for me though is that I really do care for this kid a lot. He's not just the son of the guy I live with, he is my stepson, and I think I may be getting to the point of saying I loving him.