No Discipline for the SKs

It feels like every week there is a new issues with the SKs. SD is the only girl and BM treats her like queen, she gets away with everything, is a bully, destructive, and beyond spoiled. I've tried talking to my husband about her behavior, he admits there is an issue, but doesn't address it. He defends her behavior with the excuse that they are only here two days per week. She goes into the drawers in our room, takes our tablets and hides them in her blanket. She uses them when she thinks we can't hear her. I'm constantly having to take them away from her, but her Dad doesn't back me up and because he doesn't want to interact with them so he gives the tablets back. Neither SK wipes their butt after using the bathroom or flushes the toilet, my upstairs constantly smells of poop. This situation with the SKs is frustrating and their lack of discipline is unacceptable. Once again, I'm stuck parenting kids that aren't mine and I'm always the bad guy.

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You are NOT stuck parenting.

You are NOT stuck parenting. You need to push all of this on your DH and step back. If he wants his children to have poor discipline and awful hygiene, so be it. However, demand a lock either on your bedroom door or for a closet filled with your personal things.

BTW, if one of those tablets is yours, KEEP IT LOCKED UP. The skids can share Daddy's.

I try to ignore their

I try to ignore their behavior, but he ignores everything and my 5 year old thinks the way they act is acceptable. At what point, if any should I step in? The hitting and destructive behavior is not ok.

These kids are four years old

These kids are four years old.

Send that husband of yours into the bathroom and have him teach kids how to wipe. Two days a week is two days of week for Dad to work with them. He has no excuse not to.

So you take a tablet away from a four year old and Daddy turns around and hands it right back? Not cool, but if he insist he'd rather allow his kid to ignore you and play on tablets , simply tell him to purchase his kids their own tablets or share his. I just hope Daddy realizes if he can't say 'no' to a four year old , he's in a world of troubles by the time they are 10, then 16. Steal Sm's vehicle? Sure, no problem.

Why does your DH bother to have his children over if he doesn't want to interact with them? Didn't I read he has spent the last year or two trying to get even more parenting time with them? He has them to what amounts to roughly a week a month now and he won't parent nor even interact with by , oh, I don't know, perhaps reading them a bedtime story instead of playing on tablets.

Picked up kids from the gym

Picked up kids from the gym tonight and one of the employees told us SD was not listening and climbing all over everything. Her Dad doesn't say anything to her or address the behavior. It's embarrassing that she can't even behave in public.

How do you continue in a

How do you continue in a marriage with a man that has no backbone? How are you suppose to assist him in raising them when he doesn't even want to be bothered. It's like he's the disengaged parent here and you're left to pick up the pieces.

He's a great husband, but

He's a great husband, but doesn't put the same effort into parenting. There is always an excuse when it comes to his kids. Either how old they are, the length of time they are at our house or their mother. He is not engaged, but expects max effort from me towards his kids.

I had similar issues. Here's

I had similar issues. Here's what I did:

I refused to clean the bathroom they used - DH paid for a cleaning person to clean it if it got to an unmangeable state and I couldn't handle even walking by it any longer. He's on the verge of paying for another cleaning now as a matter of fact. Do the SDs have another bathroom they can use? Make them use it. Protect your space and don't feel bad about it. My sister and I were not allowed to use my parent's bathroom even though it was closest to the living area.
LOCK UP YOUR THINGS. Get a small locking cabinet or plastic chest and use it. Only YOU have the key. Don't worry about your DH's things, just yours. If you cannot lock your bedroom then this is your only choice. It WORKS.
Do not try in instill hygiene unless it effects you directly - going in your car? Shower required. Eating dinner together? Wash hands required. An event for everyone? Shower required. If they smell at home, do not be around them. I have been known to say, "I cannot sit next to you, you smell and need to bathe..." or "When was the last time you washed, you smell and it's not good." These are not said in anger, but matter of fact. It's not an argument.

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