Money taken from DH's wallet...AGAIN
Hi, everyone. Haven't been on in a while, but I am livid right now. DH realized the day skids went home earlier this week that $100 was missing from his wallet. He checked everywhere, and he asked people at work. No luck. About a year and a half ago, money went missing from his wallet on a skid weekend, but we had people over, so it was hard to know what happened. After the first incident, I started keeping my purse and his wallet in my room when skids are over. No money had gone missing since... Until this week when he left his wallet on the counter. He picked the skids up today. I asked if he talked to them. His response was, "Yeah, but they didn't know anything about it." Gee... If I were to steal money from my dad, I'd probably say that, too. :jawdrop: He decided he must've dropped it somewhere, because the skids don't know anything about it. He doesn't understand why I'm so pissed. I reminded him that this happened before, and it happened when the same kids were here. Coincidence? I don't think so. I think we have a preteen thief in the house, but God forbid they get punished. Unbelievable!
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How do you 'punish' kids with
How do you 'punish' kids with no proof? What you have is suspicions and circumstantial at that.
If you want 'evidence ' and to peg who our little thief is, set your trap. Wait a few visits and leave no wallet in sight. Put up a nanny cam with focus on counter. Put Dad's wallet with cash on counter. Don't mention even to DH what you've done.
If there is a thief amongst the house, you got 'em undeniably.
I agree you can't punish
I agree you can't punish without proof. However, I'm sure the conversation went like so many others, such as the three broken windows on their side of the house.
DH: "Does anyone know how this happened?"
Skids: "We have noooo idea." (While looking very wide-eyed)
DH:"Okay."
This is how it always goes. With the windows, they went so far as to say it was a ghost. :? I think at that point everyone should be grounded until the truth comes out, much like teachers and previous generations have done. DH's way is to just shrug and walk away.
I don't think parents have to
I don't think parents have to have proof to punish their kids for anything. It's a household, not court. Parents can choose to punish their kids for whatever they want. It seems pretty obvious that it's the skids who stole the money. Unfortunately in this situation, I think if you want to obtain proof, it would only be to prove to your husband that your suspicions are correct so that he'll act on it. I punish my 3 year old without "proof" all the time if I have every reason to believe she's lying to me.
" obtain proof, it would only
" obtain proof, it would only be to prove to your husband that your suspicions are correct so that he'll act on it."
Bingo!
Sorry - I misread your
Sorry - I misread your comment as saying that you need to prove to the skids that you know they stole the money.
I did, also.
I did, also.
Oh dear. Another cryptid.
Oh dear. Another cryptid.
Well, yes, but let's not
Well, yes, but let's not forget the window breaking ghost :?
At least the little darlings have an active creative imagination .
The OP'S problem here is Dad is one of several things 1) very careless/forgetful, 2)haunted by mischievous ghost, 3)scared to discipline his children.
Without evidence aka proof, Dad is going to stick with #1
There is really not much you
There is really not much you can do with out proof that the skids took the money.
We have stuff disappearing or breaking on a regular basis. I will mention to my SO when I notice but without accusing anyone. Some times things will reappear after our conversation but he will never admit his kids did it even if it was obvious one of them did. I brush it of as the cryptid did it.
I gave him the money for my
I gave him the money for my student loan payment and property taxes. Therefore, he knows I didn't take it. That's how we realized it was actually gone. My student loan pmt was less than I thought. The next day a joke was made and I told him to put it towards property taxes. That's when he realized I didn't take it (which I wouldn't anyway without discussion).
As far as coworkers, he told them why he was asking upfront, so they could've easily denied. I agree. He didn't handle this well, at all.
My gut is based on previous experience. It's been 1.5 yrs because I usually stay on top of making sure my purse and his wallet are locked up.
when I was a kid a would take
when I was a kid a would take a few quarters at a time from my Mom's wallet, it was totally not right and she knew and confronted me and I felt awful. I was in elementary school at the time and it was so I could buy a couple of chocolate bars a week. I felt terrible after she talked to me and even though it was a small amount the talk had an impact on me and I never did anything like that again. I could not imagine a kid taking $100 that is beyond the "they are just being a kid" thing.
In this situation,especially since it is a stepfamily, go back to hiding wallets and purses (or keep the money some where else), if you accuse them or if DH does, your household will be punished. Too bad you can't be free in your own house but that is the way it is with kids in general and sometimes even more with steps.
You know what, it's like an
You know what, it's like an affair. DH knows one of his kids is taking the money he just doesn't want know. Because if he knew for sure then he'd have to do something about it and he doesn't know what to do about it.
My stepdad was engaged to another woman before he met my Mom. She was stealing money from his wallet and he knew it had to be her but he didn't know what to do about it. It wasn't until he decided that he didn't want to be married to a thief that he caught her red handed. The sad thing was if she would told him she was having a difficult time financially he would have given her the money.
My DS6's piggy bank stays in
My DS6's piggy bank stays in my room, as does my purse if anyone is in the house. I pick DH's wallet up from the counter constantly. I had to do it tonight! I'm thinking of putting a keyed lock on our bedroom door, but I think DH would be mad, though at this point I don't care. Stealing is pretty much unforgivable in my eyes.
She told people that?! Ugh!
:jawdrop: She told people that?! Ugh!
I wish there was a like
I wish there was a like button. Thanks, everyone!
Also, both incidents coincide
Also, both incidents coincide with times BM decided DH owed her money, but he doesn't.
Funny how that is, isnt it??
Funny how that is, isnt it?? Little spies and "repo" agents for the BM
I agree with the others -
I agree with the others - what you have now is a trend , enough to rouse suspicion but not enough to punish or accuse. You are going to have to get proof of you want to take this further.
So as I see it 3 options
1. Lock away purses and wallets never to be out when skids around again
2. Put away your purse and leave his out. If he wants to lose money so be it
3. Set a trap with a nanny cam- get the evidence you need to prove your right
Put a decoy 20 in there with
Put a decoy 20 in there with a mark on it. Of course, if you have a guilty daddy on your hands, he won't believe his own lying eyes.
I caught 8 yr old SD red
I caught 8 yr old SD red handed going through my purse and Chef's wallet. Her excuse? "I thought you were sleeping." She had recruited her older brother as lookout.
Not a very good look out.
A few years ago I convinced
A few years ago I convinced my skids that our security sensors in the house also have cameras on them. Works a treat, every now and then I smile and called them out on a tiny few things I know for sure they did and when they denied it I just wink and say 'I've seen the camera footage'.
SM and the skids also think the neighbours are police, the couple live opposite our house and watch the house for us. Hehe, also that works a treat, BM even brought it up in court. It was hilarious! :).
Daddy missed that day in 5th
Daddy missed that day in 5th grade math when he was supposed to learn about common denominators.
He has a thief or thieves on his hands. Time for him to WakeTFup.
I would punish the lot of
I would punish the lot of them. Grounded, no TV, no activities. Eventually one of them will crack and the someone will be ratted out. Otherwise, I think the "trap" is also a good idea. Catch them in the act; then a conversation about LYING is in order.
I would punish the lot of
I would punish the lot of them. Grounded, no TV, no activities. Eventually one of them will crack and the someone will be ratted out. Otherwise, I think the "trap" is also a good idea. Catch them in the act; then a conversation about LYING is in order.
We caught SD stealing from us
We caught SD stealing from us when she was 8, a lot of money for an 8 year old, approximately $200. Maybe put little black pen dots on all bills in an inconspicuous spot. When money goes missing another time or two, ask to see their wallets & go through their pockets & rooms. You'll have your answer.
We did a punishment for how much money she stole. So chores or cleaning up the sides of roads, all at minimum wage, & work however many hours necessary to pay it off. If I caught them & suspected them of more, I'd add the suspected amount to the punishment as well. You can also return anything bought, call ahead Bc they may not take back used stuff, but most small stores are willing to give a speech & scare. If a vacation is coming up, skids used the money that was going to pay for them.
We also told SD, next time we are calling the cops on her. My friends a cop, but SD doesn't know that. I'm big on a punishment worthy of the crime. Thankfully my DH is very good about punishing his child, he knows it's in SDs best interest. My DH used to be very lenient with punishment, but he realizes my punishment that pays for the crime really works with his daughter & bring lenient doesn't.