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SETTLEMENT IS OFF THE TABLE AND THE GLOVES ARE OFF!!!!!

SW2613's picture

We were trying to settle out of court with BM. Basically, we were asking her to let us raise SS7 and do all of the hard stuff, and she could see him every other weekend to have fun with him as we are more capable of taking care of him. Considering she is pregnant, has no job, is now living in a house over 30 miles away with possibly 3 roommates and boyfriend/baby daddy, and now doesn’t even have a car, we thought she would jump at this money saving and best interest for SS opportunity. We also received the test results from SS’s psychoeducational testing this week. It was determined that SS has Asperger’s Syndrome, ADHD, Dysgraphia, Expressive and Receptive Language Deficits, severely impaired motor skills, and multiple other developmental delays. It was upon receiving these results that we wanted to settle, so that we could get SS the stable, consistent, structured life that he needs due to the Asperger’s and devote 100% of our attention to him as opposed to stressing over this court case. Not to mention the fact that the GALs want to crucify me and blame everything on me and not BM for being such a shitty, abusive, and crazy person. SS will need to go to a private school, occupational therapy, speech therapy, life skills training, along with regular individual counseling. I have experience working with children with special needs from my volunteer work in high school and college, and am awaiting the official word on a second job to help us pay for all of the specialized care SS will need. We are willing and able to give SS the stability and dedication of care that he needs. We always sacrifice and do everything to put him first. BM cannot take care of herself. The fact that she allowed herself to get pregnant when she has no job, no car, no prospect for either, and is not married to the father who is not allowed to be in the presence of her son is beyond irresponsible.

Friday, BM called dh telling him that she will not settle this case and will be meeting with the psychological evaluator the week after next, because “my lawyer said if I settled she would drop me as a client.” Can you believe an attorney would say that?! I knew her attorney was an unethical bitch, but damn! She also said that “after talking to my lawyer and a bunch of other people” that we were not giving her what she deserved. Earlier in the week she said that her bf did not want her to settle, but she really wanted to so she was going to do it behind his back. Then, while dh was on the phone with her Friday trying to figure out what changed her mind, she had to quickly hang up on him because her bf was pulling up to the house. It appears as though she is not settling because she is listening to all these other people who do not have SS’s best interest at heart. It also appears as though she is scared of her bf. This worries us as he already has a history of violence. The fact the she is pregnant also means that she is not taking her medication needed for all of her psychiatric problems.

Since she has spit in our faces and refused this amazingly, overly generous offer, the gloves are off. We were not going to ask for child support or any money from her even what she owes us for evaluation and court costs and fees. Now she will pay child support, 1/2 of each doctor/therapist appointment, all the money she owes us, back child support from the date we filed it which was several months ago, get her arrested for the outstanding warrant she has, plus get the clerk of court to go after her for the $1000 she owes, and get the court to go after her for perjury for lying several times on her pauper application. I am so tired of being nice. We offered her a settlement that basically was not in our best interest especially financially. I'm tired of getting screwed over trying to be nice and generous. It's over!!

Comments

Rags's picture

SW,

Facts are not good or bad they are just facts. Good on you for using them to protect the best interests of your SS.

Don't forget to hold her to her share of the tax/credit liabilities (I think you mendioned tax or credit liabilities in an earlier thread)and go ahead and file some criminal complaint against her BF if there is infractions he has commited that you can use to exert more control over the situation.

This is very similar to what we had to do to get the SpermIdiot and SpermClan under control in order to minimize their toxic influence on my SS.

SS was an only child in our home but the oldest of 4 oowl SpermIdiot spawn in SpermLand. DipShit had several abusive GFs over the years who targeted our child, the GFs kids by previouse crotch drizzle donors threw our son out of a window in to some rose bushes, bit him several times in the middle of his back leaving scars, etc.....

So we used similary information to what you have on BM against the SpermIdiot to protect our son.

Enjoy this process, there is nothing more satisfying that seeing the toxic dipshits get smacked around in court by a judge, nailed to the wall for CS, penalties, interest, etc... then be put under the hairy eyeball by CPS for the condition of their home and the risk it is to all of the children who reside there whether those kids are your Skids or not. }:) }:)

Have fun while protecting your Skid or at least enjoy exacting justice against the toxic blended family oppostion. It beats constantly being upset.

Best regards,

icecubenow's picture

Your DH and ss7 are extremely lucky to have YOU in their corner. The writing is clearly on the wall...your life will not be easy to raise this child in your home. BM sounds as unstable as a leaky dam. You are very smart to look at the facts and state them as such. Are you really serious that GAL is blaming YOU for any of the problems in ss's life? Seriously?

One tidbit I have learned hit me when you said she said her "lawyer said if I settled she would drop me as a client.” Can you believe an attorney would say that?!" The lawyer probably did not say that at all.

My SD17's BM claimed all sorts of things...DH would believe them because he is a peacemaker and naiive. I'd dig deeper and find that BM would say "whatever," if she thought it would mean financial gain for her in some way.

You are to be commended for taking on the responsibility of your ss. He clearly is going to be better off in your home. WOW....you are in for quite a ride! Yet, it sounds like you're ready!! Hopefully, when you have the assistance your ss will require, you will be surrounded by many full, rich resources and people who will walk this road with you. Good luck!!!