You are here

Status update

SWARTS's picture

Submitted by SWARTS on Tue, 07/24/2012 - 11:04am

I am a step father of 2 boys 11 and 9. Had a blow up last night with 11 year old. His mother asked him to do something he didn't do it. I asked him to do it he ignored me then I told him to go to his room he had a melt down screaming and holoring to his mother that I'm so mean flat out lying to her that he didn't hear that he didn't hear me. End result we get in bed she says the boys are going to be the end of us. My response is no matter what I do it's wrong. I try to support her it backfires I ignore them then I'm being to distant. They never talk to me in a disrespectful tone but they do to their mother. I just don't get it. I have no clue what to do anymore.

Comments

tritonalum07's picture

Submitted by tritonalum07 on Tue, 07/24/2012 - 12:47pm

Their mother should be supporting you in your efforts to enforce her failure to get her children to comply. Have you discussed with her that in order for the boys to respect you, she must support you 100%?

herewegoagain's picture

Submitted by herewegoagain on Tue, 07/24/2012 - 4:23pm

My son is normally a super sweet boy, but this age seems to be a bit difficult...somedays he is not someone I like too much...same type of issues. I started reading "How to Hug a Porcupine"...it's for parents of pre-teens...it really opened my eyes and I tell you, the simple things work very well. We are still at the work in progress and haven't done everything to a T (trying to get DH to GET IT!), but when I do change how I talk to him, etc...things are considerably better. I highly recommend it. Especially with boys, who can really get out of control, I think, just as the book suggests, the time is NOW to get them to listen and have a good relationship with you and mom, to keep them out of trouble.

Good luck.