I don't know sometimes why I keep pushing at my SD even though she's been gone from the house for over an year and a half with all the trouble she's into but maybe it is because I hope that sooner rather than later, it will dawn on her that all of the people around her, who are trying to tell her that she has "issues" are correct. I left a message in her xanga chatterbox in a roundabout fashion but if she knew who it was, she would never have read it. And any time she feels she may have something confrontational, she has her best friend, step in and take care of it for her, rather than stand on her own two feet. It's almost like if she may think she knows who it can be, but at the same time, is afraid to write or say anything confrontational she will avoid confrontation and say she is afraid of my husband or myself. But in any other situation, she is fine, laughing and carrying on like nothing is wrong. It is like Jekyll and Hyde. It is a great act. I am going to continue to push and try and confront her thru the site about her drug use and see how her best I can see from her comments that she is using her Mom's prescription medications and mixing alcohol. Maybe if she crashes, the school will identify something is drastically wrong. Obviously, her mom is an idiot. (the apple doesn't fall far from the tree).
So, for the rest of you, you all get more of your daily doses with your stepchildren, while I get these exotic type doses of trying to do something positive once in awhile from afar. I've always tried to be a really good person with my SD and did as much as I could to help her maintain her relationship with her Dad but her Mom couldn't allow the fact that Dad had moved on and was so terribly vindictive for over 10 years. I never could catch a break. No matter what I did. I stood on my head, we were involved in every possible extracurricular activity, and my stepchildren attended school in their mom's school district which was over 45 minutes from our home which meant at a minimum a hour commute each way before and after school every day plus going to work. Try that for over 10 years! I'm not looking for sympathy, I'm just saying, I'm just like the rest of you....even when the kids are gone, and grown up and gone, you will always miss them. When they are old enough to be on their own, and you think you are finally getting to that day you won't have to listen about the "ex", think again, because it doesn't ever go away. There is money for college, (yes, sometimes it's in the divorce decree) and that's hell), weddings, and sometimes they go back to visit there and it is just damn unbearable getting in touch with them there! Ex-wives don't seem to let go---they have this kind of choke hold that over time seems to get tighter!
I'm not trying to be smart--it just part of reality as I've seen so much now. Try your best to savor the blessed tender moments because as the kids grow up, those times will fall by the wayside and you will remember more of your differences. In the end, it's not going to really matter who was right or wrong, but who was there together.