I stopped attending every skid's awards ceremony, ballgame, school program and dance recital about the time my son became mobile. And the skids liked it when their Dad showed up without stepmom and "the new kids". Than DD started school and we had our own schedule and bedtimes to observe, so I have been off the hook for those things for several years now. Everyone will be happier if your DH will accept the fact that it is easier if he goes alone. Good luck.

Nope...I have the opposite problem. My DH gets annoyed that he has to go and if it takes longer then he feels it should he grumbles and complains.

We went to SD5's school musical last week, and admittedly it was a bit stuffy in the building and it did take a couple of hours...but you would have thought that he was being tortured all of the whining and complaining he was doing. Suck it up for your kid ya idiot is what I wanted to scream at him but someone I managed not to.

GG has done a 180 over the last almost eight years. The Behemoth signed all three up for everything under the sun (despite the fact that all three fail school all year long) and guilted GG into going to every event or else he was "bad daddy"

Then GG had me go to witness the hate stares and his three phoning it in for every sport and activity imaginable.

Then gradually, as GG and his brood showed me more and more disrespect, coupled by GG refusing to stand up to the Behemoth who was vigorously scheduling everything on HIS time and expecting us to be non-parental status babysitters and taxi service (TM), I started to "opt out"

As GG saw that his brood were more and more "aloof" toward him (due to extreme PASination on the Behemoth and clan's part) and that it was all for show (skids really were just there and not really participating) then GG became disillusioned and no longer wanted to face down the hate stares from the Behemoth's clan and community by himself.

:jawdrop: DH used to guilt me into going to everything. At first I would decline but then I gave in. I went to every one of the boys games last summer. It was horrid a bunch of the mom's were getting divorced and they sat around during the games yapping about how they were going to screw their STBX husbands. :jawdrop:

When DH started to ask me why the yard looked so unkempt and why was the house a complete mess. I told him because we're both going to all the boys games nothing is getting done around here. Since that conversation he's stopped guilting me into going to all the boys events. Now I pick and choose.

I so know what you mean about your free time being at a premium.

Oh and SS14 started getting aloof around age 11 too, I think it's part of being a teenager. The last court of honor DH and I went to SS14 didn't bother to acknowledge us at all. DH chased after him to chat at the end of it, I just kept on walking to the car, I'm not going to follow some 14 y.o. around like a puppy dog.

~BettyRay

I used to go to all of SS12 because BM didn't go. He really wanted his family to see him. Well, not that BM goes more (because she took over once she saw us signing him up for sports and going to games) I don't go as much.

Plus, when we were signing him up for things, we did it at a location half way between BM's and our house (we live hour away). When she signs him up, she does it out by her 1-1.5 hours away. Kinda hard in the middle of the week.

I think this is the real beauty of doing this step thing the second time knowing the rules to the game. I refuse guilt and I go when I want for SD, but I don't go everytime. I make it a point to keep my own life, too. That way they can't get too comfortable and take me for granted. At the same time, I do not expect SO to come to every thing my son is doing unless he wants to. I am all for the happy family thing, but I am not going to be guilt tripped into doing things if I have other things I'd rather be doing, like cleaning the toilet.

I pick and chose. My rule is if I can go and succeed in not seeing/dealing with BM then I go or if I can get off work. BF and I are not married and I feel that my finances come before HIS kids - for now.

Great example - next week both sKids had school picnic on different days no less. BM is going and I am not. One I can't stand the way the kids act around her. Two I can't stand her :). Three she would most likely want to be near me/ sit as a group. and Four picnics do not justify me missing 2 days of work.

I did however go to the Christmas program and it was fun. We sat in front and SS6 was so excited.

Total A hole!

Eh, I don't think DH cares whether I go or not. He doesn't want to be there himself 90% of the time. Now, SS6 does ask me to attend his baseball games (more like, "let's put on our uniforms and roll around in the dirt" games). Since BM is always there, he doesn't speak to me, but he DOES ask me to come. LOL

I used to go also whenever I could the first couple years, since the birth of our BS now 1.5 though I have only attended a few. I work full time also and with my little guy on the go so much its easier to stay home than to go,chase him around for hours and not really get to see/enjoy the sk event. My oldest ss is 12 and also agree with above posters about that age distancing themselves. I noticed at the one game my BS recognized SS out in the field and kept banging on the fence,pointing and yelling to him and SS wouldn't even look at him. I know now that BS is too young to understand or be disappointed but will feel bad when he gets older if SS still acts the same way towards him. That will be when I will decide to stop going completely...