This is what I was venting about on my blog.
This is what I was venting on my blog earlier until it turned into more than just a vent
http://www.nolo.com/legal-encyclopedia/question-must-i-pay-child-support....
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Did you read the answer? You
Did you read the answer? You may not like it, but that is the way it is. BM is most likely entitled to that money and it may have already taken that share of custody into account when the yearly amount was set that was just divided by 12.
Yes. CS is monthly no matter
Yes. CS is monthly no matter who has the kids. It is galling in the three months when we have them 20 out of 30 days because of our long weeks three times a year...and we still send CS to BM. I also think that answer is BS. Guess who also has to "maintain a home" that will accommodate the kids when they are there...that's right. Us.
The extras are galling...the constant poor-mouthing from BM is galling...it's all galling and resentment fodder. I wish the system would change...
Yes, I wish as well but, I
Yes, I wish as well but, I guess I just have to take it with a grain of salt and expect that this is what I have to deal with because I married a man that has kids with someone else. I
Yeah in my state it is 25% of
Yeah in my state it is 25% of your income plus medical insurance and 50% of the co-pays/deductibles.
Same thing here in
Same thing here in NYS--percentage of overnights is not counted. They just name the BM custodial and the biodad non custodial pretty much every time.
So "N"CP dad could be getting the kids practically every night of the week and still have to pay full "custodial" CS to the BM
Hell in some cases, dad has been granted 100% custody and still has to pay a reverse ransom in order for the BM to "let" him take custody of the kids.
In my case, SD18.5 who is barely graduating high school with a pity grade will be sitting on her butt all summer and probably for the next 2.5 years after that working the odd part time job and Chef will still need to pay the BM CS right up to the 21st birthday.
Does SD live with you and
Does SD live with you and your DH thinkthrice?
No thank the LORD!!!
No thank the LORD!!!
So didn't CS end at the age
So didn't CS end at the age of 18 or when she graduated HS?
Nope here in GUBM-land NY, CS
Nope here in GUBM-land NY, CS automatically goes to 21.
In our state if SO has the
In our state if SO has the children for two or more weeks child support is halved for that time period. Check out your State's laws. This means during the 6 weeks he has them in the summer she will only get half of the support payments so that he can better provide for the children while they are with them. It is adjusted to take into account that even though he will have them their for costing her less she still must maintain the home they will return to. So its like he gets to keep what would be spent on food for the kids.
SO will have to report it and
SO will have to report it and request the adjustment be made.
She can try to fight but it
She can try to fight but it is in the visitation agreement. He has the children for a set time period of 6 weeks in the summer. He will be able to prove that he had the children during that time. The child support will be reduced for only that time the return to normal when the children go back. If she wants to get a lawyer to fight over about $300 then so be it. She will lose.
I'm looking at the visitation paperwork again now.
It states in all caps "THE NON-CUSTODIAL PARENT WILL PAY ONE-HALF OF THE NORMAL AMOUNT OF CHILD SUPPORT DURING PERIODS OF VISITATION OF TWO WEEKS OR LONGER".
I understand it's not that way for everyone but it is in his paperwork.
I didn't know what it's
I didn't know what it's called I just know we talked with the lawyer about it and it's clearly written plain as day in the paperwork. He will have to report it to the agency. His is a set amount that comes out of each paycheck. They took his average pay rate for so many months before CS started then compared it to a chart set by the state.
In our state it follows a
In our state it follows a chart. You either pay or you don't. If you pay they take what you make, how many kids it supports for that custodial parent, and then you get your total. If you pay two different custodial parents you would NOT get a break for multiple kids since it's to separate people. It does not take into account how much time the kids spend with the NCP. It's yes or no.
Now you CAN request for adjustments but its few and hard to come between.
I agree and now understand
I agree and now understand why so many father's in my state don't see their kids. They can't afford to.
Their mother is able to support a 3 bedroom home with dogs, getting a new pool and swing set this summer. Ontop of all the extra stuff she wants. We bought the kids bunk beds when he moved in with me because they had to have beds of course. She went and bought brand new full size beds for the kids and was showing off the new blankets and everything.
Together he and I have a two bedroom apartment. It's hard not to be bitter at times when we have to carefully plan everything and she gets to go buy the kids barnd new clothes to wear once for a holiday.
He can't get any help because he's not allowed to claim the kids of course. Oh and she also gets the tax breaks for the kids.
I understand she has them most the time but his money is going to help support them and he gets nothing. He gets told it's not enough. He can be homeless or work 3 jobs they don't care.all that matters is mommy gets a break.
Sorry a bit of bitterness but
Sorry a bit of bitterness but I can't be the o my one who feels this way. She moved in with a guy and they have a joint account. The kids live better now then they did when the parents were together. Then they come to us where of course we have less.
I just wish they looked at
I just wish they looked at need. Why should she get to get all this extra stuff for them and SO has to tell them no because he's giving her money.
Why should she be able to have a 3 bedroom home with pets, pool, and everything
Him helping pay for it but if he was still single they would still be sleeping on a couch at his place.
How does that make them want to visit him. How does that help him bond with his kids. Of course she doesn't tell them. Oh I used the child support to buy the pool so make sure to thank your dad
Its about a 3rd of his pay
Its about a 3rd of his pay check. He's might also responsible for insurance, is for 50% of extras, and does all the transportation.
2 kids.
She's already burned through dental insurance this year and wants to do more work. We keep telling the lawyer he just doesn't have it. Dental alone has been an extra 100 a month and she wants to keep going.
There has to be a stopping point somewhere. He donates plasma sometimes to come up with gas to go get the kids. We split the bills and what I have extra goes on my debt. Yes I do buy some things for the kids but I can't do much.
They shouldn't get everything at one place and nothing at the other. Daughter already talks about how she has to share a room with her bother when she's with us. We hate it but we just cant afford a bigger place.
When he lived alone the kids slept in the living room so it's atleast better than that.
He's not a bad guy. She cheated on him and left him. He has no criminal record is former milatry and scrapes by.
It was really upsetting because we had to work hard to get their room set up and when the kids went home happy about it she just went out and bought new stuff that they didn't need since she got to keep all their stuff when she left.
Yes they are. Very. I just
Yes they are. Very.
I just hate that the kids are already sayings stuff about money. The 4 year old asked me the other day if I bought the new game we were playing (shoots and ladders). I calmly explained that his father and I worked together to maintain our home. That if one of us buys something it's like we both do so that we have what we needed and that it doesn't matter who exactly bought it.
Which for us is the truth. We split our bills and then try to leave so much in both of our accounts. He may go through more gas but then I buy more food. That's how our family works.
We've agreed no joint account
We've agreed no joint account until the kids are out of the CS ages. We know she shouldn't be able to touch my income but just don't want to take ANY sort of chance. So far the kids don't say you have to buy this or that they just ask where things came from but so does their mom.
She found out we put all my older game systems in their room and wanted to know all about them. She tried asking if they were the kids. Nope mine but the kids can use them.
We've had to have discussion about stuff that is brought at our place stays at our place. We just explain that it's so they have special stuff with us too.
I would like to apologize. I
I would like to apologize. I would go back and delete most of what I've written near the bottom if I could. Clearly this is an issue I am rather emotional about.
I get emotional about it too.
I get emotional about it too. I don't pay child support and I don't
Get child support. I do 50/50 and we
Both support our
Children equally. I am trying to reach my child that self reliance is the key!!! I don't want them ever to depend on a man. When I was with DD2's dad stepkida would come
Over and complain that my house wasn't as big as BM's. My car wasn't as nice as hers. Etc etc. but everything she has she has gained through sex. Now at 40 she finally has a job and a career but everything I have I worked
For. it used to really bother me. But now she married the rich boyfriend so I guess now all that stuff is hers.
The kids are still quite
The kids are still quite young so we have very simple money talks.
When the kids talked about getting a pool and the swing set I pointed out that the apartment has a large pool that we will get to use when it opens and that we get to go to the parks which they enjoy. We also go to the library a lot which they love. We look outside of our apartment for entertainment. I'm connecting with friends of mine who also have kids so that we can set up play dates and stuff.
I feel mom is trying to build up home so they want to be there but the thing is I had a lot of that stuff as a child and it was boring alone. A small backyard pool compared to the apartment pool is nothing. Tiny swing set in the back yard compared to a full playground nothing.
Sharing a bedroom is nothing when your not stuck playing in it all day. I've talked to my mom about her helping me take them hiking and we've got them going to camp one week also.
So yeah I make a big deal about what she can do but we find a way to be happy. I feel the kids have a good time and I've never heard them complain about being bored.