Stepson inappropriate sexual behavior
I married my husband who is the sole caretaker for his 16 y/o son. His sons mother is not in his life currently. We have a 1 y/o son together. When I first gave birth I had an overwhelming feeling that someone would molest my son. It was debilitating how strong that feeling was. I couldn't get the thought out of my head. It was as if my momma instincts had kicked in but I couldn't figure out what or who the trigger was. When my son was about 2 months old I noticed my stepson laying on the ottoman with my son sitting on his lap directly on his crotch. I immediately told him it was inappropriate for him to hold him in his lap in that matter. I told him to get up and take my son off of him. I haven't seen him putting him on his lap again. Yesterday my mom who lives with us told me that my 16 y/o stepson was laying on the floor with my one year old sitting on his crotch again and she asked him to get up. When he got up off the floor he had a full hard on. My hands are shaking just typing this. It's sickening to me. But I'm also thinking do teens just randomly get a hard on? I feel like I can't leave my stepson alone with my son. I don't want this behavior to escalate but I don't know how to tell my husband or how to correct this behavior. She later told me he sits with my son on his lap constantly around her. But he doesn't do it around me which leads me to think he knows what he is doing is wrong.
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in some cases innocent until proven guilty
But this is not that case.
Fact: SS had a hard on held directly against your 2 month old son. His penis. Against your child.
Fact: SS has been doing this repeatedly, NOT around you, and has been observed. this is on PURPOSE.
You are NOT overreacting. He is sneaking around doing something that is harmful to your child.
Do what the others suggested. Tell your husband immediately with your mother. THEN discuss that either your moving out while he continues to help support you and your child, or he does. Trust your gut. Your husband has an obligation towards the SS16, until 18 and graduate high school, sometimes longer.
The kid needs therapy, sure. You can try cameras, sure. Never let your child out of your sight ok, sure. But do you want to live like this??????
My thoughts exactly. Like I
My thoughts exactly. Like I want to be able to get him some help because I don't want him to become an adult and still exhibit these behaviors to other children. But then again I don't wanna have to have my eyes on my baby 24/7 and constantly be worried that he will be abused in his own home. Which that's exactly what I'm doing now. I never leave my SS alone with my BS. I don't even go to the bathroom without taking my little guy with me. It's no way to live
No way this skid would ever
No way this skid would ever be around me or my son again.
I am a little confused about
I am a little confused about how you are describing your son being held the first time you had a bad feeling. I feel like I hold young children like you a describing. At my waist so their head can be propped on my thighs for support.
The erection concerns me obviously- and you should ALWAYS trust your gut. I think you need to talk to his dad first, I would ask your mom if she can describe what she saw to him again.
This could be a couple of different things but you need to take precautions. Camera baby monitor that records. Don't leave them alone. Talk to a counselor. Protect your baby.
Well yes he was 2 months the
Well yes he was 2 months the first time so he wasn't able to hold his own self up. But my SS wasn't holding him normally. He was laying down on the ottoman (he's pretty tall so his legs and head were not even on the ottoman which is an uncomfortable position to be in anyway) he had his hands stretched out to purposely hold my son on his crotch area. Think of It like you are laying flat on a bed and holding your newborn on your crotch. Most people would hold a baby cradled in their arms while sitting up or even on a thigh but directly on your private area while laying down? Idk if you can picture it how I'm describing it but it was off putting. Like I was sick to my stomach when I came in the room and saw it.
That makes sense on why you
That makes sense on why you should be concerned. Please keep us updated on what your husband says!!
Update
I had a talk with my DH and he asked me why I didn't tell him right away. I was honest and told him I was scared and I felt like I was putting him in an impossible situation. I felt like we were getting somewhere however he did say he would talk to him but I don't think he has. Furthermore I don't even think he believes me because later on (the next day) he mentioned that he never even sees his son playing with his brother. I feel like he doesn't want to have to choose between his two sons. But I'll make the decision for him one way or the other. Everyone on this post has helped me tremendously and I now know I'm not crazy and my feelings are valid. I appreciate the comments and I'm glad I found this site!