First Post. Need Advice on 9 year old SS
Hi guys! I have been lurking for a while and decided to post to get a little advice. I have two SK's. SD-12 and SS-9. I have been with my husband for 7 years and married for two. I have a good relationship with BM. She comes here for holidays and parties. We go to her house for the same. We have the standard "every other weekend" custody arrangement. The kids and I get along wonderfully at this point, though I am aware that this could change any second.
My problem is that SS-8 lies all the time. When he is punished for his behavior, there is not a punishment that that works or even effects him. He simply doesn't care. He is not a bad kid, it just makes discipline difficult to say the least.
His mom recognizes that this is a problem, but she has no idea how to deal with it. We (my husband, BM, and myself) have decided to handle this as a team and come up with a consistent punishment. Only, what the hell can it be? We take away all electronics and he is fine with it. We give him chores. He is fine with it. We send him to our room (no tempting toys) he is fine with it.
We are all pulling our hair out at this point.
Any advice? If I left out an details that would make a difference just let me know. I have had the longest weekend ever (SD got her period) and I really should be asleep. I just can't.
Thanks for listening.
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Comments
I am a big proponent of quick
I am a big proponent of quick uncomfortable punishment. Potty Mouth=Clean a dirty toilet. Can't sit still or listen then go run around the house x number of times, can't put your dishes where they belong=washing everything by hand, can't put your clothes in the hamper=doing the laundry. I am consistent and kids know what to expect. Loosing a Nintendo for a couple of weeks is nothing when compare to having to clean a dirty toilet. My husband is more of a traditionalist when it comes to punishment... aka take a privilege away or the answer is always "NO" when asked to do something. We went through a period of lying with SS around the same age. Looking back it was his way of lashing out. He is 12 now and we have moved on to a different set of issues. (puberty/pre-teen) It is so wonderful that you have a good bio-mom relationship. It makes me a little green with envy. Good Luck. Have you thought of talking to his school teacher? I know it is summer but they maybe able to give you an insight to this behavior that you have not thought of.