Today at work, I was talking to an older woman (maybe 50, I am not yet 30) about work. She asked me if I was ok. THat she had noted the last three weeks or so I seemed not myself. --I almost started crying right in her cubicle...

I explained how I was considering leaving my boyfriend.
And that it was soooo much more involved than just a break up because if I left him, it would mean moving out of the home I helped design, build, and now live in... it would mean leaving my job, leaving this city, because I have no friends or family and I could never afford rent on my own and pay my student loans, and other bills... That he has talked of promises and of the future, but he isn't acting on it. And I've mentioned ALL of this to him and he still is doing things without thinking of me.
I told an example that actually happened LAST NIGHT:
He came home and informed me that he told his brother and sister-in-law that he would watch their 16 month old overnight.
And I wasn't ASKED, just told me she would be there for the night...SO he left to go get her and TOLD me to clean the floor and "babyproof" the house while he was gone... then when he brought her back HE LEFT WITH THE KIDS TO GO FOR A WALK AND LEFT ME WITH THE KID! He then woke me up early to watch the kid while he took a shower...

I told the woman it's nothing BIG happening that I can say WOAH to right away, it's all these little things that if I point to one little thing it looks like nothing, but when they all add up it makes me feel like he NEEDS me to be around, doesn't want me to leave him because he knows he NEEDS ME...

She basically told me the same thing my mom has been telling me, and the same thing all of you have been telling me,...

I am way too young to be taking on this situation. I may love him, but I need to love myself enough demand his respect....
She told me I don't have to tell him all the little things that bother me, HE WAS THERE AND LIVED THEM TOO, and if he can't see what he is doing is hurting me, then he won't change, and he does not want to change, and that makes the problem HIS not mine, and if it's not my problem, there is nothing I can do to fix it...

So I come home from work and am obviously bummed,... myboyfriend corners me in the bedroom and asks if I am mad at him.
I said, "no i'm just sad, just about my life"
And I started to tell him about this woman at work and I moved around the room (I was changing out of work clothes, and was not fully dressed)
AND HE GOES FOR THE DOOR! HAS HIS HAND ON THE DOOR KNOB!!! BUT FREEZES WHEN HE HEARS I STOPPED TALKING
"what?" he says
"Nothing, nevermind, leave, obviously you don't care about what I was going to say"
"I was just leaning"
"no leaning is a flat palm against the wall, you have your hand on the door knob like you were ready to turn it" (he is a very tall man he has to stoop in posture to bend down for his hand to reach the door knob--it is NOT natural looking)
he rolls his eyes and just stands there, "finish your story"
I put my lounge clothes on and laid down on the bed and got my phone out "no it's ok, go"
he stands there a bit looking at me and we are both in silence, then he leaves

this was about 30 min ago and he keeps coming in the bedrrom for various reasons and leaving without saying anything.
He just said they were going to go for a walk, did I want to come, I said "no" then they were going to town did I want to go "no"
"are you sure you don't want to come?"
"yes, I am very sure I do not want to go"