My boyfriend says this as we are leaving church this morning.

Then follows it up with.

"I feel like we never talk anymore unless is it about (BM)."

"Well I would really like to ignore her, but when she keeps doing something every other day to you, or I, or the kids. It needs to be addressed. I don't think we dewll on it, but we are still trying to figure out how to respond, when to respond, what to ignore. And she isn't going anywhere."

"I just need a break from it all. It's almost every night."

"How do you think I feel about it??!!!"

"I'm just saying."

"Well I know you are used to ignoring her and sweeping it under the rug, but how has that been working for you so far?(silence) Everything I'm reading about dealing with high conflict people is all about documenting a pattern of behavior so that when something happens-because it will-we will have something to show the courts. That takes some effort and time on our part. I don't like our lives revolving around her either, but until we make it clear to her that she has a firm boundary outside of our home, she is going to keep shoving her nose in places it doesn't belong."

"I just don't like talking about it."

"Well I don't like dealing with BM shit. Us not talking about BM shit and discussing how we are going to deal with BM shit is not going to make BM go away. We need to be united on how we deal with these kind of situations. Like her confronting me at the basketball game, if she doesn't want me involved-she needs to stop involving me, get the idea?"