My DH has never uttered the “you hate my son” words. But if he ever did I’d just say “No I do t want to waste energy hating him. He’s just a POS that I do not want in my life.”
My response to DH used to be a nice logical no I dont. I dont want anything bad to happen to her but I hate her behavior and having to deal with it in such a personal level on a daily basis. To which he responded so you do hate her. Now I roll my eyes and say stop trying to guilt trip me.
If BF ever said I "hated" SD over something dumb, which it would have to be, I would respond with "You think I would put all this time, money, and energy into a child I hate? Think of all the things I do for her. You really think I hate her?"
Mine has never said that either, because he was quicker to see bad behavior and flaws in his son than I was, and I never had to ask him to parent. That's why I'm still with him.
I do enjoy that article, and it does explain exactly the issue: it's with parenting, not the child.
DH has never accused me of hating his children, but I do disengage in certain things, particularly because I don't agree with how he parents in those arenas. Anytime his "looser" parenting causes issues with me, I always bring it back to me being fine with the boys as people, but being frustrated that he (DH) didn't do something to prepare them knowing what the consequence would likely be.
I honestly think agreeing and pointing out why is the only recourse. It takes away all the arguments and fights.
As Evil3 said, once you point out why you feel the way you do the ball is now in their court. They can either change the way they parent and raise a better human being or they can continue they way they are and more people will hate their child.
I've seen this before and always disagreed with this part:
"If they ask why you couldn't wait to get married you simply tell them we have no control over love. It happens when it happens; it's not something you schedule in."
It should be reworded to:
"If they ask why you couldn't wait to get married you simply tell them you are a person and you are entitled to happiness too."
Comments
My DH has never uttered the
My DH has never uttered the “you hate my son” words. But if he ever did I’d just say “No I do t want to waste energy hating him. He’s just a POS that I do not want in my life.”
My response to DH used to be
My response to DH used to be a nice logical no I dont. I dont want anything bad to happen to her but I hate her behavior and having to deal with it in such a personal level on a daily basis. To which he responded so you do hate her. Now I roll my eyes and say stop trying to guilt trip me.
If BF ever said
If BF ever said I "hated" SD over something dumb, which it would have to be, I would respond with "You think I would put all this time, money, and energy into a child I hate? Think of all the things I do for her. You really think I hate her?"
DH: You hate my daughter
DH: You hate my daughter.
Me: No sh*t. Didn't we establish that a couple of years ago?
DH: (silence).........sigh.......so what are we doing for dinner?
Mine has never said that
Mine has never said that either, because he was quicker to see bad behavior and flaws in his son than I was, and I never had to ask him to parent. That's why I'm still with him.
I do enjoy that article, and
I do enjoy that article, and it does explain exactly the issue: it's with parenting, not the child.
DH has never accused me of hating his children, but I do disengage in certain things, particularly because I don't agree with how he parents in those arenas. Anytime his "looser" parenting causes issues with me, I always bring it back to me being fine with the boys as people, but being frustrated that he (DH) didn't do something to prepare them knowing what the consequence would likely be.
I honestly think agreeing and
I honestly think agreeing and pointing out why is the only recourse. It takes away all the arguments and fights.
As Evil3 said, once you point out why you feel the way you do the ball is now in their court. They can either change the way they parent and raise a better human being or they can continue they way they are and more people will hate their child.
I've seen this before an
I've seen this before and always disagreed with this part:
"If they ask why you couldn't wait to get married you simply tell them we have no control over love. It happens when it happens; it's not something you schedule in."
It should be reworded to:
"If they ask why you couldn't wait to get married you simply tell them you are a person and you are entitled to happiness too."