How is it that my SO thinks it's so easy to just love someone else's kids? Ungrateful, disgusting and lazy kids to boot.

I have been around these kids for 3 years. Their mother is a wreck, who can't handle SS6 (her own words) and cries far too often because he's "mean" to her. Whereas SD8 is her golden child, so she's always wanting to be center of attention and if she's not - her whole world visibly crashes down. It's a train wreck having them at the same time. I can tell the attention their mother gives them has a HUGE impact on them, no matter how I try to balance it out. I've given up on that balancing act.

I don't like seeing who they are turning into and I don't want to put my name on that.

For the 1st time in 3 years, I told my SO that my sister, her BD5 and my BD5 were going out for a few hours on Saturday.

He flipped his shit because I did not invite his child. Meaning, HE'D have to spend time with them (lately he sits back and lets me do all the work - I've been slowly disengaging).

SS6 is disgusting. Inside and out. Needy and abusive when he doesn't get his way. He literally shit ON the toilet seat and only cleaned part of it up. He eats like a pig and manages to get food EVERYWHERE but in his mouth and doesn't bother to clean up after himself. I can't tell you the number of times he's peed ON the toilet seat for the girls to sit on. If he enters a room, it's havoc - he ruins everyone's time if he's not center of attention. He punched his own sister in the head and pulled her hair out of anger. He cries when things don't go his way or it's bed time (EVERY bed time). I don't mean he's upset crying - I mean, he's WAILING obnoxiously. That's pretty much how the weekends go. The only way there is peace is if he's stuck in his room by himself all damn day. Only then I wonder if I'm feeling this happiness that everyone is always talking about. I'm burnt out.

I'm fed up. I don't like this kid, he's been trouble from the get go. One of those look-you-in-the-eye-while-I'm-doing-it-and-make-me-stop trouble making kids. And let me tell you, spankings don't bother this kid. He gets upset, but he doesn't get it. I told my SO that so long as his mother doesn't discipline him properly and act like a mother, things will never change for him. He needed her and she basically couldn't mother him since birth. It has an obvious effect.

SD8 isn't bad like that, but she is lazy and an insufferable know-it-all. She just KNOWS everything and KNOWS why YOU'RE doing something. Example:

Me: (pulling sandwich bags down to separate snacks for the kids)
SD8: I know you're doing that for my sandwiches.
Me: No, actually, I'm dividing up the crackers.

Now, this may sound innocent and shouldn't be a big deal but it happens constantly. All. Damn. Day. Then she'll correct me with what I've just said. Another example:

Me: The sky is blue.
SD8: No, the sky is blue.
Me: That's what I just said.
SD8: Oh.
Me: (glare)

That also happens a lot and she's started doing it to my sister. It's obnoxious. I have no love for these kids. I just don't. I just can't. I blame a lot of their behavior on the mother and father themselves. They're just as lazy.

And my SO just gets so mad because he "loves" my BD5. Well, sure you may, but you also don't take care of her. I love her because she's mine but I also see her faults and know that I can correct her and it will eventually stick. I don't get that with his kids. You cannot leave parenting your bratty, annoying kids up to me and expect that I'll just love them as well. You've built that resentment within me and I doubt this whole relationship.

I'm just working on my way out as it stands and disengaging. Be mad with me. I don't care because, honestly, YOU don't care. You're just worried you won't have someone to take care of YOUR kids and also cook, clean, do your laundry and everything else. Step it up, son. You're too old for this.

And I'm too young.

/rant