I am so glad that I found this site. Before discovering it, I felt so ashamed of my feelings towards being a stepmom, that I could barely admit it to myself, let alone anyone else. My fiancé and I have been together for 7 years, and have been engaged for 2 months. I have an 8 year old son, and I am pregnant. My fiancé has 4 children. The eldest, who is 13, is not his biological daughter, and he has an 11 year old son, and 9 year old twins(a boy and a girl). At first, I didn't have a problem with the idea of being a stepmom. I thought that I could be a positive addition to the family, but I see now that I was basically dreaming. His BM is truly the worst human being I have ever encountered. She has destroyed property, broken into my fiancé's house and stolen money, she has tried to attack me, she's tried to run him off of the road while his children were in the car with him, and she has spread horrible rumors about me. She even tells the children lies about me. When she found out we were getting married she told him that she would dedicate her life to making his life miserable. What makes matters worse is when he tries to call the police they take her side most of the time bc she is a woman. Now she is encouraging the children to lie and disrespect their father's home. He has visitation every other weekend during the school year, and they rotate weeks in the summer. They have shown up during the week kicking and beating on the doors and the windows demanding to be let in, which I feel is horrible for a parent to encourage their children to behave in this manner. As a result, they do not have respect for him. He is also to blame for their bad behavior. The 9 year old boy is extremely destructive, and he has always been. He has poured cups of water on 3 tvs, and broken them. He's broken numerous dvd players, and he destroys toys, and video game systems; really he has destroyed anything he could get his hands on. The 9 yr old daughter is rude, and out of control. They want to hold her back a year in school, and they want to put her on Ritalin because she is uncontrollable. The 11 year old boy talks back to his father, and his teacher believes that he has issues with controlling his anger. The oldest daughter is withdrawn, and she reports everything to her mother. I thought that once they were older the issues with their behavior would get better, but it really hasn't. I also thought that once enough time passed, that the BM would stop all of the craziness, but whenever she is single, she focuses on us. I no longer want to be a stepmother to these children bc they are spoiled, disrespectful children, and I don't want to deal with their crazy mother. My fiancé and I are not living together, but he is looking for a house. I don't want to move in with him bc I don't want my son exposed to any type of drama. He says when we move she won't know where we stay, but the kids tell her everything, and I'm sure the oldest girl would give her the address. The younger daughter tried to find out where I worked so she could tell the mother, so I'm sure they would give her the address to our home. They tell her everything about us, but when my fiancé tries to ask them basic questions like if there's food in their house, or if the BM is taking care of them, they won't tell him anything. I love him, but I don't want to live with all of the drama.