Here I am again.

Okay. So I marry my soulmate and move 350 miles away from my family and everything I’ve ever known to a town/state where the only people I know are my husband, my children, my husband’s ex-wife (oh joy) and his family. About 2 years into our marriage DH adopted BS6. At the time BS was 3 years old. He knows nothing of his “sperm donor” and I wish to keep it that way. There were little signs coming up that I should have paid attention to but didn’t or chose not to…I’m not sure which. BD12 was in a cheerleading competition (at the age of 7) and they won first place! I was so excited for her and told her how proud I was. While in the car on the way home DH says “Does it have to be all about BD12? I don’t want to upset SD11”. I said “Are you serious?” and he dropped it. Next a few months later BD12 (who is extremely hyper in the morning as she is ADHD) upset SD11 by not being quiet so SD11 started to cry. (SD was 6 and BD was 7 at the time) DH goes to BD12 and screams in her face “Stay away from my daughter!”. We had a HUGE fight about that one….but again the situation was dropped. At one time he told me that “We need to make SD11 happy because I don’t want her to NOT want to come over here.” I should have said something about that but I didn’t. Along the years SD11 has seen that no matter what I say to her it’s ultimately her dad’s decision to make regarding anything she wants to needs or whatever. He had on several occasions reversed my decisions in front of SD11. She has manipulated BD12 and been mean to her when we weren’t around. She also lies when BD12 comes to us with her issues saying that “she didn’t do it”. I’m not saying that BD12 is a saint by any stretch of the imagination but she would have no reason to lie about some of the stuff she told us.

Now for the present. I guess I’ve kept all of this buried inside of me for so long that it has finally exploded….to the point of almost divorce. I am making DH see the way SD11 treats me and acts….it seems as though for the first time. SD11 has lied to her mother about me but somehow DH turns it around that it was my fault….that one is beyond me. I’m not saying that SD11 is ALWAYS bad….we’ve had some really great times. I’m just saying that I can’t take her manipulating ways anymore and DH’s constant denial. He has a wonderful relationship with BD11 and BS6. Although I still believe that he is tougher discipline wise on BS6 than he ever was SD11. It’s also due in part to the fact that BD12’s dad isn’t around because as you will remember he lives 350 miles away and doesn’t want to work.

I see all of the comments from everyone here and I’m in awe of the vast knowledge that everyone has to share on the step parent issue. I like being able to throw everything out there and letting a third party unrelated to me see it and give me unbiased advise.

I don’t want to lead anyone to believe that my life is all terrible…it just seems that way to me at this moment. My DH is a wonderful man and I feel that he truly is my soulmate.

Sigh…..thanks for letting me get this out.